During the years of guessing what was wrong with David, we had so many wonderful times together, but during the years of 1993 until 2005 my antenna was up periodically trying to figure out 'if' something was wrong.
David was a CPA and Vice Pres. of Finance at Coca Cola for 26 years. We met at Coca Cola ........ he was my boss, and a great boss! Coca Cola provided us the opportunity to travel all over the world together, and ... oh what fun we had!
After Coca-Cola,....... David worked for a family, managing their office and finances, until his retirement in 2003.
David was and IS a gentle man, a good Christian man, a loving husband, father, and Pope, ....... a perfectionist, and anything he did, he gave it his all!
He loved numbers, they were his constant companion. David was active in our church for many years, serving in many areas, but mainly finance. David has a nice voice and sang in the choir until recently.
I've tried to remember when I started having questions ......., "when did the first signs of Alzheimer's appear?" You don't wake up one day and suddenly notice that your loved one has Alzheimer's. You notice small subtle signs along the way ...... oh, so subtle.
David was frequently asked to say prayers at church and at family gatherings. His prayers were beautiful and from his heart, but I remember when his favorite aunt died in 1993, and the family was gathered together, he was ask to say the prayer, and he had difficulty finding the words. Before this, it had been so easy and natural for him.
The same year, 1993 ........ we went to Boston. In the past, when we traveled, he took charge, and was so confident, but this trip was different, and my antenna was up....
We bought a new home in 1994, and I remember thinking to myself ........ he's making some financial decisions that he would have never made in the past......my antenna was up . This was 14 years ago, and life went on, but along the way, there were small things...... ever so subtle.
There would be times when we would be with friends and he wouldn't say a word for hours. I'd question him afterwards..... not knowing/realizing what he must have been going through.....It makes me sad to think of what he must have been experiencing.... he was wondering what was happening to himself, and also trying to cover up...Antenna up..
In 2003 I went to China with Karen and John to adopt our new grandchild, Ellie. David drove to Houston to pick me up after our trip, and as we were driving home from Houston, he told me of having a wreck while I was gone, and he had totaled his car. When I ask how....... he said he didn't know .....Antenna up, big time......
As much as he loved staying on top of our finances, I started noticing when he was working on the computer, he was getting slow, frustrated, and angry (and this wasn't like him at all).
In 2003 and 2004 he was having a difficult time doing our tax return, but we thought it was his eyes. It appeared that he wasn't seeing well. He had cataract surgery, and I thought this would be the answer to any problems he appeared to be having. It was disappointing to find out the surgery didn't change his problems, but we continued thinking his problem was his eyes........Actually, I was praying that it was his eyes and not his brain...my antenna was up..
For a man who wore a suit and tie most of his life, I started noticing in 2003, that he was having difficulty tying his tie. He was also misspelling words, and when I'd mention this to him, he'd become very defensive.....antenna up......
David has always been very calm and even tempered, but in 2003 I noticed his temperament changing. When our daughter would came to visit, she noticed the change in him. Antenna up...
Finally in 2005 I went to our family doctor and told him my concerns. He laughed at me, saying that David was in his 60's, he'd recently retired, and both his parent's had recently died. He said that he thought it was all the changes taking place in his life. I felt so much better, but my antenna was still up.
A month later when David went to the doctor for his regular check up, the doctor said, "just for the heck of it, let's do a 'little test'.."......David scored 18 out of 30 on the Alzheimer Test! The doctor was shocked ..... I cried.........I believe David was almost relieved that he had an answer and wouldn't have to try covering up his actions anymore.
The doctor prescribed an MRI, to see if he might have a brain tumor. ( I prayed for a brain tumor). Several long days later, we had the results......no brain tumor......and the probability of Alzheimer's ... The doctor prescribed Aricept, and he started on this immediately.
I'm so glad that we live in a time where there are medications to hopefully slow the progression of the disease.
David's first response, after the probable diagnosis, was his concern for me; he was worried about spending money on medications, and worried about me having to take care of him. I assured him that we were on this journey together, and we would move forward and do everything we could to be positive and enjoy this life !!!
2 comments:
Thank you for sharing such a loving and heartfelt story! L~
I have known David almost as long as you have, Dolores. I admire him, love him, and feel inspired by him. There are a few really decent men in this world, and he is one of them! And because you are such a fine person, he deserved you, and has been so happy to be united with you all of these years. His children are blessed, and are themselves good people. Both of you are like lights in a frequently dark or cloudy sky. Here's my wish that continued grace would bring you many more days of sunshine. Love, Nancy
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