Nancy..... is a Clinical Social Worker, and has her practice out of her home in Magnolia, Arkansas. I know her clients love and respect her integrity, honesty, and her loving and caring spirit for each of them.
Nancy suggested that maybe I should do a post on 'taking care of the care taker.' I know that Nancy loves David, but she's also concerned about me, and for that I say, "thank you for your love and concern, it means a lot to me!"I don't really feel we're at a stage 'yet' where I'm effected/affected in a big way. I know as time goes on, and David declines, there will be a lot of life changes, but for now, I'm doing well..and I'm so thankful that David's progression is slow.
If I wanted to, ......I could think about the things we can't do anymore, and I'd be sad and depressed, but what good would that do for David or me......,so, I don't think about the have nots.. That's one way I take care of me...
Another way I take care of me, is to try and enjoy ever day with David, to laugh at the silly things....... like today when he put his coat on upside down......we laughed and laughed. Sometimes you want to cry, but if you start laughing, the laughter takes hold and you end up having fun.
I'm not involved in volunteer work, like I was in the past, and I don't go shopping with friends for hours at a time, but I always stop and remember that David's life has changed so much more than mine. It breaks my heart that he had to give up so much, and he's NEVER complained. He can't drive, he can't write, he can't help with changing light bulbs, climbing ladders, digging holes in the yard, such simple things that we took for granted in the past. .... I take care of me, by remembering to be thankful that I can take care of him.
I miss David driving the car! I've always loved to read in the car, and I'd leave the driving to him, but I'm thankful that we have a car and I can drive. If he were to die of cancer, heart disease...or whatever.....he wouldn't be here at all, and I'd be driving all by myself.....so....I'm thankful he's here with me.
I absolutely love flowers, bushes, trees and spring time! Taking care of me, is to dig in the dirt and plant flowers!
I also love decorating! I don't care if anyone else likes my style, but it gives me a thrill to move things around and make things look good to my eyes. The above photo shows a new picture and lamp over the mantle....which I love. Taking care of me is to decorate.....
This precious little King Charles Cavalier, named Casey....... has brought us more joy than I could ever express in words. She has certainly helped to 'take care of me and David.'As I've said in previous post, I started this blog to give some positive thoughts to anyone with a new diagnosis of Alzheimer's..... that life can still be good for who knows how long....., but I must say that working on this blog and writing .....remembering memories......looking through photos.....thinking about the people in our lives who mean so much to us........... the process has benefited me more than I'm sure anyone who might read this little blog. Taking care of the care taker is working on this blog right now...
And I say, "thank you God for another day."
5 comments:
What an absolute beautiful post!! You are an inspiration for counting your blessings every day and realizing that we have so much to be thankful for! Love you! L~
You are such an inspiration to me..although Mr. P doesn't have the life's challenges David has, it is a challenge. To watch him go from the vibrant person he was to where he is now. Today is another "good" day.. He's taken our cocker spaniel Miss Scooter up to be groomed and then on to the restaurant to visit with friends. Girl he hasn't done that in ages... this is truly a day to be thankful for..like your Casey our Miss Scooter is a God send..she brings us so much enjoyment..as I head off to work.. I'll remember your post..and say over and over again..this is truly a good day..
hugs ~lynne~
Hello there! Your sister in law is so right ... through all of this, you must take care of yourself. I admit there were times I didn't. I regret that today. I let stress trigger shingles, I didn't pay attention to the skin cancers I had on either side of my nose, I didn't take care of blood pressure I knew was on the high side, my cholesterol was high ..... I kept telling myself that what I was doing on a daily basis was what mattered most. Today, I have managed and taken care of everything that had gone wrong ... but my point is I should not have waited five years to do it. Your entire family needs you ~ for as long as you are on this earth...so don't neglect yourself. Sending you lots of love today - for David too!
Dolores, what a wonderful response you have written. Thank you for your praise of our relationship. When my husband was dying, you stayed with us for three months, helping him and helping me. We often had the same feelings and thoughts about how the day was going, even though you are the "emotional" one, and I am the "intellectual" one. Truth was the same to both of us, and we became closer than ever before because of this shared experience. You never once judged me for any failures I experienced in caring for my sick husband; you just helped. Like the evening that water overflowed onto my bedroom carpet from the laundry room. I didn't know what to do, but you and my son fixed the problem for me. Some day you will need someone to step in and help you, and I hope you will accept their gracious help, just as I accepted yours during my time of crisis. Love always, Nancy
Dolores, I saw your article on the Seguin Daily news (I check it from time to time) and found your blog here. I follow Karen's blog often but was unaware of yours. You and David have been such great spiritual examples to Chris and I, especially in our early years at FUMC. We continue to hold you and David up in prayer. Love,
Jeanne
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