Oh Dolores, I sit here typing thru tears. Dementia is such a cruel disease. Jan looks so young and she is so pretty. I felt such compassion as he sat there listening to her talk about her Barry. He is right, we do grieve each day. I will take a lessom from this video and cherish each day. I am so thankful my Jim still knows who I am because I know one day he may not remember me. I am so thankful to know we are all in God's keeping! Praying you have had a good holiday weekend and a good week ahead! Mary
Such a sad and poignant story...what a twist with the new relationship... I am not sure about my thoughts on this one...I am sure about the horrible disease that calls itself alzheimer's... Grief is a strange and evolving emotion and much stranger in this situation... We never know where our lives will take us!!! This could happen to anyone... Thanks for the interesting video...
The focus of the story is, of course, Jan and Barry, but something else also caught my attention - the comment about grieving for a person who is sitting right in front of you. Over the last two years of my father's life, long after he stopped talking and long after he forgot who I was, I would often hold his hand and look straight into his eyes, and say, "Daddy, I miss you."
I thought I was the only one who did such an odd thing. Apparently not.
Man, I can't get that video out of my mind. The love Barry shows her even though she no longer knows him reflects in her words. She knows she loves him deeply, she just can't put the two together any more.
How someone could judge him for moving on when she no longer knows him is cruel. He hasn't given her up, he's just accepted the inevitable. He needs a life as much as she needs care.
I hope all of us caregivers realize that our family or our partners would want us to continue to be happy.
Thank you for sharing this with us. You walk with God daily, and you're an inspiration doing his work.
This was so touching, Dolores. Thanks for sharing this. We have a young woman in our neighborhood, out kids grew up together, she was a school teacher, and she is 55-ish. She was diagnosed a few years ago, and it's so sad to watch her husband care for her.
The only thing I might add is that from my perspective, the marriage vows one takes are "til death do us part" and "through sickness and in health". I disagree strongly with the decision this newscaster made to "go on with his life". He is not keeping his vows and it leaves me to wonder if this man is a Christian...
Thanks so much for sharing this touching story, Dolores. As the story began and that beautiful, vivacious lady was introduced, I couldn't believe that she would be diagnosed with Alzheimer's. When I heard she was only 40 years old, the tears began and they continued throughout the story. Just this morning my chiropractor was telling me about her mother's struggles with the disease and she is in her 60s. I was sad to hear that the research dollars are low compared to other diseases. Perhaps stories like this and blogs like yours will to make people aware of just what a cruel disease it is for the patient and also for the family.
I couldn't finish watching this video... ummm... isn't sex outside of marriage called adultery? Or am I reading too much into their relationship? I don't need to judge this man, God will do it for me. I think we need a TV story about Delores who is standing by her husband and has not taken on a lover. Now THAT'S admirable. The verse, "There's a way that seems right to a man, but it's end brings destruction." (Proverbs 14, verse 12)seems applicable here. I know from experience that God won't bless sin. I feel sorry for Pat, and it's not just because she has Alzheimer's. Frankly, I think this man's behavior is shameful. My mother had Alzheimer's and if my dad had taken up with another woman while my mom was still alive, I wouldn't be one of his admirers.
It is so early and here I am at my desk crying. This is so touching, Dolores and very sad. I hope they can find a cure, if not in our generation, at least before our children gets to that point. I have a friend who just passed away a few weeks ago. I think he must be a few years younger than me and I heard he's had Alzheimers for the last 8 years ago. We used to bowl together when we used to live in Illinois. Thanks for sharing this and take care!...Christine
I KNEW it was coming...but when he started to cry it Got me...What a heart wrenching love story. 3 Brave souls, connected in love and sadness... How could Anyone judge him...bless his heart. ...and Yours!! (((HUG)))
I am saddened to think that supposed Christians are judging this man for finding love again. Go back and read what being a Christian means.
God never meant for vows to make you suffer. His wife is not his wife any more. There is no reason why he has to hold up the rest of his life while his wife is institutionalized.
I don't judge the newscaster in this heart wrenching story, but I think we no longer grasp that what this life on earth is about is NOT our own personal happiness, but obedience to the Father. I recall a couple in our church years ago. Marion had suffered from polio in the 1950's which left her on an iron lung, and then in a wheelchair, paralyzed from the neck down. She had been a vivacious mother of three children. Her husband was advised by social workers to put the children in foster care, but this stodgy, German man with steel-like character, raised three successful children. All their children grew up to be highly educated professionals who as children sat at their mother's feet and brought her books to read to them. He hired housekeepers and caregivers for Marian. In all those years, he took such devoted care of her that she never suffered a bedsore. He devoted his life to caring for Marian, and when we had a Bible study at our home, he came the day before to see how he would be able to get the wheelchair into our home.
I just have to ask this: Is our intelligence WHO we are? No, I believe it is just a dimension of who we are. This woman's memory is failing, but she is still spiritually alive. Such a difficult story. I do feel compassion for him, but I also have seen with my own eyes someone who chose another path. Somehow, it seems more honorable.
Sorry, my comment was so long, but I forgot to say that my own mother is suffering from Alzheimer's Disease so I know first hand what a wretched illness it is and how you grieve everyday. V.
Hello, stopping in again to see who thinks just because we are Christians, it means we have to have such open minds that our brains are falling out... Stick Horse Cowgirl put it well: it's not about our own personal happiness, but about obeying God and our marriage vows. As I said before, I'm not judging this man, God gets that privlige. But I can think and I can have an opinion that is based on God's perfect and true law. I can speak from personal experience from this also--as I had stated, my mother had Alzheimers, and my dad visited her every day in the nursing home--he didn't take up with another woman while my mother (his wife) was still alive. My mother did not know him, or anyone else. She also could not talk nor feed herself. Till death do us part? Did this reporter take that vow? I feel sorry for his wife and I feel sorry for him, but his wife's illness is no excuse to commit adultery. If we don't like God's laws, then we must take it up with God. Go back and read what it means to be a Christian? How about the 7th Commandment (not suggestion): "You shall not commit adultery." Signed, God So, if what this reporter is doing--this adultery--is okay and justified, then are people who stay faithful to their spouses doing the wrong thing? I'm going to side for the strong, courageous, humble, loving, and yes, Godly people who choose to be faithful to their spouse.
Joy, if you are all about obeying God, then realize that by saying this man is not caring for his wife correctly you ARE judging the man.
Those who choose to live against the commandments are not ours to judge. We are to live our own lives, and not meddle in others.
By saying he is "doing the wrong thing", you are judging him.
God will judge him. Your job is to forgive this man his transgressions, not put your opinion up so people can choose sides.
My father had and died from Alzheimers. My brother now has it. Until I am married to someone who has it, I cannot say what I would do in that situation, and neither can you.
19 comments:
That was bitter sweet to watch !
Diane
Oh Dolores, I sit here typing thru tears. Dementia is such a cruel disease. Jan looks so young and she is so pretty. I felt such compassion as he sat there listening to her talk about her Barry. He is right, we do grieve each day. I will take a lessom from this video and cherish each day. I am so thankful my Jim still knows who I am because I know one day he may not remember me. I am so thankful to know we are all in God's keeping! Praying you have had a good holiday weekend and a good week ahead! Mary
Such a sad and poignant story...what a twist with the new relationship...
I am not sure about my thoughts on this one...I am sure about the horrible disease that calls itself alzheimer's...
Grief is a strange and evolving emotion and much stranger in this situation... We never know where our lives will take us!!! This could happen to anyone...
Thanks for the interesting video...
Wishing you and David a wonderful week!!!
What a touching story!
The focus of the story is, of course, Jan and Barry, but something else also caught my attention - the comment about grieving for a person who is sitting right in front of you. Over the last two years of my father's life, long after he stopped talking and long after he forgot who I was, I would often hold his hand and look straight into his eyes, and say, "Daddy, I miss you."
I thought I was the only one who did such an odd thing. Apparently not.
Thanks for posting this video, Dolores.
As you know, my dad died of Alz...and my 59 year old brother just got diagnosed. This video is scary, but we have to keep going.
Man, I can't get that video out of my mind. The love Barry shows her even though she no longer knows him reflects in her words. She knows she loves him deeply, she just can't put the two together any more.
How someone could judge him for moving on when she no longer knows him is cruel. He hasn't given her up, he's just accepted the inevitable. He needs a life as much as she needs care.
I hope all of us caregivers realize that our family or our partners would want us to continue to be happy.
Thank you for sharing this with us. You walk with God daily, and you're an inspiration doing his work.
Wow. That was no sugar-coated Hollywood version of things. So sad. So scary.
And yet, Delores, this is your everyday life. I am reminded of Nancy Reagan's "The Long Goodbye".
May the peace of Christ guard your heart and give you many more good years with your "leading man".
Love from Iowa...
Teri
Wow - that is touching. I can't imagine how hard it was for him to do this story.
Karla
This was so touching, Dolores. Thanks for sharing this. We have a young woman in our neighborhood, out kids grew up together, she was a school teacher, and she is 55-ish. She was diagnosed a few years ago, and it's so sad to watch her husband care for her.
The only thing I might add is that from my perspective, the marriage vows one takes are "til death do us part" and "through sickness and in health". I disagree strongly with the decision this newscaster made to "go on with his life". He is not keeping his vows and it leaves me to wonder if this man is a Christian...
Thanks so much for sharing this touching story, Dolores. As the story began and that beautiful, vivacious lady was introduced, I couldn't believe that she would be diagnosed with Alzheimer's. When I heard she was only 40 years old, the tears began and they continued throughout the story.
Just this morning my chiropractor was telling me about her mother's struggles with the disease and she is in her 60s.
I was sad to hear that the research dollars are low compared to other diseases. Perhaps stories like this and blogs like yours will to make people aware of just what a cruel disease it is for the patient and also for the family.
I couldn't finish watching this video... ummm... isn't sex outside of marriage called adultery? Or am I reading too much into their relationship? I don't need to judge this man, God will do it for me. I think we need a TV story about Delores who is standing by her husband and has not taken on a lover. Now THAT'S admirable. The verse, "There's a way that seems right to a man, but it's end brings destruction." (Proverbs 14, verse 12)seems applicable here. I know from experience that God won't bless sin. I feel sorry for Pat, and it's not just because she has Alzheimer's. Frankly, I think this man's behavior is shameful. My mother had Alzheimer's and if my dad had taken up with another woman while my mom was still alive, I wouldn't be one of his admirers.
It is so early and here I am at my desk crying. This is so touching, Dolores and very sad. I hope they can find a cure, if not in our generation, at least before our children gets to that point. I have a friend who just passed away a few weeks ago. I think he must be a few years younger than me and I heard he's had Alzheimers for the last 8 years ago. We used to bowl together when we used to live in Illinois. Thanks for sharing this and take care!...Christine
I KNEW it was coming...but when he started to cry it Got me...What a heart wrenching love story. 3 Brave souls, connected in love and sadness...
How could Anyone judge him...bless his heart.
...and Yours!!
(((HUG)))
I am saddened to think that supposed Christians are judging this man for finding love again. Go back and read what being a Christian means.
God never meant for vows to make you suffer. His wife is not his wife any more. There is no reason why he has to hold up the rest of his life while his wife is institutionalized.
Would you feel better if he divorced her?
Judge not, lest you be judged.
I don't judge the newscaster in this heart wrenching story, but I think we no longer grasp that what this life on earth is about is NOT our own personal happiness, but obedience to the Father. I recall a couple in our church years ago. Marion had suffered from polio in the 1950's which left her on an iron lung, and then in a wheelchair, paralyzed from the neck down. She had been a vivacious mother of three children. Her husband was advised by social workers to put the children in foster care, but this stodgy, German man with steel-like character, raised three successful children. All their children grew up to be highly educated professionals who as children sat at their mother's feet and brought her books to read to them. He hired housekeepers and caregivers for Marian. In all those years, he took such devoted care of her that she never suffered a bedsore. He devoted his life to caring for Marian, and when we had a Bible study at our home, he came the day before to see how he would be able to get the wheelchair into our home.
I just have to ask this: Is our intelligence WHO we are? No, I believe it is just a dimension of who we are. This woman's memory is failing, but she is still spiritually alive. Such a difficult story. I do feel compassion for him, but I also have seen with my own eyes someone who chose another path. Somehow, it seems more honorable.
Sorry, my comment was so long, but I forgot to say that my own mother is suffering from Alzheimer's Disease so I know first hand what a wretched illness it is and how you grieve everyday. V.
Hello, stopping in again to see who thinks just because we are Christians, it means we have to have such open minds that our brains are falling out... Stick Horse Cowgirl put it well: it's not about our own personal happiness, but about obeying God and our marriage vows. As I said before, I'm not judging this man, God gets that privlige. But I can think and I can have an opinion that is based on God's perfect and true law. I can speak from personal experience from this also--as I had stated, my mother had Alzheimers, and my dad visited her every day in the nursing home--he didn't take up with another woman while my mother (his wife) was still alive. My mother did not know him, or anyone else. She also could not talk nor feed herself. Till death do us part? Did this reporter take that vow? I feel sorry for his wife and I feel sorry for him, but his wife's illness is no excuse to commit adultery. If we don't like God's laws, then we must take it up with God. Go back and read what it means to be a Christian? How about the 7th Commandment (not suggestion): "You shall not commit adultery." Signed, God So, if what this reporter is doing--this adultery--is okay and justified, then are people who stay faithful to their spouses doing the wrong thing? I'm going to side for the strong, courageous, humble, loving, and yes, Godly people who choose to be faithful to their spouse.
Joy, if you are all about obeying God, then realize that by saying this man is not caring for his wife correctly you ARE judging the man.
Those who choose to live against the commandments are not ours to judge. We are to live our own lives, and not meddle in others.
By saying he is "doing the wrong thing", you are judging him.
God will judge him. Your job is to forgive this man his transgressions, not put your opinion up so people can choose sides.
My father had and died from Alzheimers. My brother now has it. Until I am married to someone who has it, I cannot say what I would do in that situation, and neither can you.
Please stop judging this man.
I'm so glad I finally got to see this video Aunt Dolores!
Love you! L~
Post a Comment