He apologized the next morning, and said he didn't know why he lost control ...he remembered his anger, which is surprising to me. I know anger is part of the disease, but it sure is unnerving to watch this calm and gentle man lose control., and hard to go to sleep afterward.
Other than Monday we've had a pretty good week. I should be happy, but I'm battling a little bit of depression. I've started writing this blog entry for days, and I go back and delete what I've written.
I'm determined to finish today..whatever......
I'd like to shout from the roof tops to encourage everyone to have their animals spayed and neutered!!! There's an over abundance of cats and dogs........ Lilly was spayed on Friday...YEA!!
And I say, 'thank you God for any day or night that is good.'
23 comments:
Oh Dolores, I am so sorry to hear about this. You do a remarkable job of dealing with all of this, but it only seems natural to feel down and depressed after something like this happens. There's no two ways about it, it is heartbreaking to sit by and watch this awful disease slowly take away the person we know and love.
After reading your post, I thought about a time when my mom got very angry with me. It was on Thanksgiving right after I had to put her in the memory care unit. I already had guilty feelings, but knew it was the best place for her to be at the time. I spent several hours crying my eyes out after that call. Later in the day we went to visit her and it was like it never happened.
Unfortunately, with Alz. I think it is hard to breathe easy at times because it can be so unpredictable.
I hope this turns out to be an isolated incident for you and this week will be better.
You both are always in my prayers.
Hugs,
Kim
Hi there ... love especially the photo of David sweeping. My mother would have swept our front yard of pine stickers (as she called them) for hours if I had let her. And as Kim says, anger when you least expect it, is part and parcel of this horrible disease. Please, please take care of yourself throughout this journey. (and thanks for taking a look at my summer)
Oh! I feel so guilty c/o a bad hair day!
I know anger is part of the dx, but not easy to deal with. Know you are in my thoughts a prayers always.
You are not alone, I know I sometimes feel like I am, but then I read others blogs who are going through much worse than I am... Like you and I say thank you God for giving me friends who understand.
Delores, know you are loved and if you need anything I would walk on hot coals for you.
hugs Judi
Oh Dolores...today my heart is heavy for you. It is.
I remember once, several years ago now, when my father got really mad at me and accused me of breaking into his home and stealing of all things an aging family picture. I was devastated. I sobbed for hours and hours and it took a long time for me to compose myself. This happened a year or so before his dementia disease was diagnosed. My father had given me the picture in question over 20 years before the day he said I had taken it from him. The pain of that experience is with me still...
At least now I can put a name to what was going on deep inside my father's brain. And that DOES bring some comfort to me. There is no anger now...no accusations...no silly jokes...just silence.
The sound of it is deafening sometimes.
The good news is that God is always there and understands everything we feel. All our hurts, frustrations and even our broken, wounded spirits. Today I'm praying He will lift you up and the depression you feel will float far, far away.
I think you are amazing.
Love to you this Sunday~
Rebecca
Dolores, I was so sorry to read your last post. You have been through so much, yet you've been remarkably cheerful despite the difficult situation you are in. It's no wonder that you get a little sad from time to time. I'll be thinking about you and hoping for happier news in your next post.
love from Canada
Gilda
Just sending hugs and loving thoughts to both you and David.
Nancy
Please remember to take care of YOU. If you can't seem to shake the depression, please speak to your doctor.
I hope these bursts of anger David has are few. Fingers crossed.
PS: My house is continually covered in dog hair. David is welcome to sweep to his heart's content over here! :)
I share your same sentiments about August...it is something to just "get through" just like depression feels sometimes. Just remember to not get to down on yourself when your feeling this way because you're handling it FAR FAR better that so many others would do!
The Lilybud pic is adorable! And I LOVE pic with Uncle David!! Your yard looks like it stepped right out of a magazine!!! I looked at every detail for a long time!!
I love you! L~
Dolores,
It's the disease that your husband and mine have. My husband can get angry also. One day was awful and he began to know he had irritated me but couldn't tell why. We went to dinner and I told him a story of a couple where the wife was having a bad day. Suddenly he started laughing and he knew I was talking about our day. I could laugh then also and I got over the upset.
I blogged about that day July 26th on
http://plantcityladyandfriends.blogspot.com/ and we have to know it helps so much that we blog and this is why I am following your blog. Go check out my blog.
Carol
Like you in it for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health
Can I borrow David? LOL! With all our trees in the back, our deck sure needs a lot of sweeping all the time. How lucky, you have David who likes to do that. I hope you are not depressed anymore. It is so hot here too...Christine
Really, August is not one of my favorite months either, except it is one month closer to autumn, my favorite season. My plants are looking very sad too, even in the Pacific Northwest, the heat is bad this time of year for plants that will thrive otherwise. Thank goodness for sedums!
Blogging really does help us make connections with people who will encourage and uplift us, and although no one in my family has Alzheimers,your journey with David has touched me and I am always encouraged by you, and pray for you.
Your kitty is so pretty and glad to read she is spared too many Tomcat visits in the future.Lily looks to be such a sweet little lap warmer.
Hi there Delores! I am sorry that you are slightly depressed! I am sure you slip out of it in no time!
In reference to David and his Anger... I believe that his love for you caused him to remember is outburst. I am glad that he remembered and apologized!
Hang in there Dear!!! xoxoxoxo
Donna Marie
PS Today my Mom would have been 73.
Dolores,
Big hugs to you my friend. I agree, August is not my favorite either. Something sad about the end of summer and the heat and humidity.
The anger is certainly one of the worst parts. We have had similar episodes with my grandmother and it is hard to watch. You know it is the disease but still like you said, it is difficult to see these changes in our loved ones. I called the Alzheimer's Assoc Helpline the other day to discuss some issues we are experiencing. They are so wonderful and helpful and caring. Such a great support and resource.
Yea for spaying! Hopefully those suitors will stay out of your yard now.
Hugs,
Karla
Delores,
I am glad to be back! Sweethearts like you make it worth my while!!! :)
xoxoxoxo
Donna Marie
Sending hugs your way...and that kitty is so pretty!!!
(((((((Hugs))))))))) for you and for David. To be the target of unpredictable and irrational anger is scary and upsetting.
To not be able to control your anger or understand why must be scary.
Today's a fresh day. August is getting close to half-over!!! It's not my favorite month either.
Oh Delores...I know my Dad's girlfriend did that as Well...I was visiting my Dad on his birthday when all of a Sudden, Nell came rushing & screaming, up the hall with a handful of mail...She ran up to me and threw it in my face...We have No explaination as to Why! I cried, I was so shocked. Scary but comes with the territory.
Bless his heart, And Yours! My dumb advice is to Try to just blow it off even though your heart is breaking. I know how hard it is to do sweetheart... You KNOW he wouldn't do that, normally!
((((HUG))))
Hello Delores, sorry to hear about the outburst. I hope you can get out to see your friends again soon. Thinking of you. I was wondering how you were doing in this late summer heat... it's pretty bad here too.
Delores: I thought I had commented on this post, but now think I must have waited, hoping right words would come.
Well, they have NOT come. I re-read the post and it still breaks my heart. I have no words, only compassion and friendship and prayers and sister-love.
I hope you can somehow feel and know how special you are.
My Mother has these anger bursts too. You just never know what is going to set it off. I want to try to enjoy her company but it can be so difficult.
I love seeing David being active. Hang in there dear friend.
I love seeing David being active. Hang in there dear friend.
Hi Delores, I know this is an old post, but I found that Lantanna was also one of the best choices for the heat we had this past summer. I'm going to use it again for the summer of 2013. Your fern sure looked good there, though!
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