Fifteen years ago when David took out our Long Term Care policy for us, I couldn't imagine we'd have any use for it, and if we needed it, I would have hoped/thought we'd be in our 80's.
I'm so thankful he was so wise......., but he's always been so much wiser than me.
Four weeks ago I started having a Home Health Care aid come into our home for 4 hours once a week. We're going through the process right now to be approved by the Long Term Care Insurance Company.
First was the interviews with the Home Health Agency.....
Yesterday a nurse came to our home from the Insurance company and interviewed David for over an hour to check him out and see if we really needed any assistance.
Well, shut my mouth.....it was so hard to keep my mouth shut when she'd ask him questions that I 'thought' he could answer, and he couldn't. I wanted so badly to answer for him.....but didn't.
Okay, the object would be to flunk the test in order to be covered and receive the assistance. No pretending going on here..... I suppose I knew in my heart/mind his condition, but to hear her ask him such simple questions that he couldn't answer..... broke my heart and opened my eyes once again!
On a lighter note....... the first time Linda came to stay with David for 4 hours, I wasn't sure what to do with myself. I decided I'd really love to go to Hobby Lobby and walked up and down the aisles. I bought the black bowl and plate with the grapes...... brought it home and placed it with my special wine bottle that my friend, Jay gave me..... I was so pleased with the arrangement. Sometimes it doesn't take much to make a person happy.
And I say, "thank you God for a few hours away from home ...to feel renewed again."
27 comments:
First of all THANK YOU so much for coming by my blog! I know how busy you are. My FIL, who has Altzheimers turned 97 on Feb.3. He is really bad and sleeps most of the time now. I love your plate and the whole vignette! It looks so nice! It is so important to get out alone for awhile. I took care of my Mom for 5 years but had home health aides come in when I was at work. God Bless. You are still in my thoughts and prayers. XO, Pinky
Oh, Dolores, enjoy these hours. David will be well cared for and you will be refreshed.
Imagine MY horror when I gave mom the same test they gave Clynt...and she failed! I can only imagine how hurt you were when David did.
BUT on the plus side, you get time away to recharge and rejuvenate so you can be fully there for happy moments (and late night moments) with him.
Thanks for the well wishes, feeling better or not, back to work tomorrow!
xx
barbara
It was a tough day for you. Sorry. It must be hard to face the reality of it all. I am so glad you were still able to enjoy your time 'out'. It's good for both of you! Love the beautiful colors in your arrangement!
Sometimes I don't bite my lip and speak for my husband when I need to keep quiet. It's like an Alzheimer's spouse at some point becomes our toddler.It's hard to comprehend how life changes when a hubby gets Alzheimer's, but the LORD is our strength all along the way.
How significant now that David took out that policy that you never thought you would need!
Your grape and wine vignette is lovely. Your tastes are elegant.
Hugs and prayers,
Carol
love the grape and wine vignette...I know it is hard not to jump in and answer....you did good letting it go....enjoy your time away...it's good for you...
It is hard to hear the non-answers sometimes. Esp. hard when you know that it is helping in terms of insurance. You created a lovely scene with the grapes.
Karla
Yep, I gather that would be one of the times you dont want a good passing grade.
Its good to hear you got out of the house and just walked the store isles.
Prayers for you and yours.
'Mornin' Dolores. I know what you mean about not speaking for David. As caregivers we speak for them so much now and even more as they decline. But that long term care is SO important and I know it is tough to hear what he cannot say. You need that time, tho, as well as David does. It's good for the health care workers to spend time with him so they'll know exactly how he is and what stage he's at.
Your bottle and grapes and the black all look so good together. Doesn't it make you feel good to get a little something for yourself sometimes??? It does me! I hope ya'll have a warm and cozy and non-snowy, non-icy rest of the week!
Aunt Dolores,
I can imagine how hard it was to not answer the questions...kind of your way of feeling protective of Uncle David! But I'm SOOOO glad she came over and y'all are getting long term services set up!! That is such a relief to me...as I know it will be for you in the long run.
And your vignette you created is just too beautiful! I LOVE IT!!! :-)
Love ya!! L~
When mom was still going to the doc. he had to make me leave the room because she would ask me to answer his questions. She would say you tell him Karen. Our what is it Karen. I wanted to answer too. And sometimes I did. I guess that is why he kicked me out. Take care and good luck with the Insurance. Such a good idea . Wish we had it for mom. Hope you have many nice days out. I love getting out. But not today we are having the biggest snow storm in our history. LOL!
I hate those tests too! Papa's last one had us both in tears.
The doc filled out a form and in the middle of asking questions, he looks at me and says "this looks bad on paper."
Thank God for people who care.
I love the vignette, Dolores. Enjoy your free time....Christine
Thinking of you, Jenny
Glad to hear that you have some time to yourself, Dolores - you deserve it!
Its so painful to keep your mouth shut and not give them words they cant find. This whole journey STINKS. Dad has so
Eone for four hours two days a week but has a hard time finding what to do too. Its too hard to unwind in Four hours. But so necessary. Love, prayers and hugs Dolores!
When my mother in law was being questioned by her caseworker the questions were super simple ,things like how many children do you have? She answered I can't remember but I love them all.
Your heart goes out to them....esp. when they look at you for the answer.Oh yes I have been there...
Take care,
Diane
I've been missing for a few weeks .. Carl and I went to Atlanta and returned late last night.
You are doing just what you should be doing for yourself ... talking, venting, sharing. The good and the bad. It makes you stronger though I know you don't feel that way 100% of the time. Never forget, we are here for you .. forever.
Going through this process sounds so simple...but I know how traumatic it must have been. I had to go through the hospice process and when it came down to the end of it...well I didn't do well and ended up canceling the whole thing. In hindsight I can see my error but I just didn't have what it took to go into the whole hospice thing.
By going through this I know what this meant to you and can imagine how you felt...
Kudos to you...strong lady...you've crossed a very difficult bridge!!!
Take care of yourself and trust!!! Praying for the two of you and Hobby Lobby was the perfect to spend your time!!!
hobby lobby is so full of all kinds of goodies & it looks like you found a treasure. were you able to get it for 50% off? i adore their sales.
also glad to see Romans 8:28 work out in your life. Yay, God!
I remember how uptight my mom got when she took those tests. She said she had such a hard time drawing a clock with the correct time on it. It broke my heart to see her having such a difficult time, so I understand how you must have felt.
I am glad that you were able to get out and enjoy some time at Hobby Lobby. They have so many fun things to look at. Your grape vignette looks just perfect.
Hey, you ... thanks for 'keeping it real' here on you blog. I can see that many people can relate.
Knowing that someone else has/is walked/walking is such a comfort, because who likes to be alone?
And your little counter display? So chic. I think you have a nice 'eye' for decorating.
Bless your week ...
Dolores,
been playing catch up reading on all that has been going on~ I am so sorry that this dreadful disease is progressing....I am thankful that you have some help now and that you are able to get out for a bit. You and David are in my thoughts and prayers.
Blessings and love,
Vikki
Your ending remark reminded me of the book I'm reading.. 'one thousand gifts' by Ann Voskamp. I believe it would bless you big time... honestly!
RYC: You asked if that was an orange tree behind the clothesline.. yep.. 2 of them actually. There is a lemon tree on the other side of the yard.
Are you doing well?
You could call your first day out "Hobby Lobby Therapy" !The therapy session looks to have been successful for that is a lovely counter top centerpiece, really!
It makes me sad to read how you are realizing more of David's and your loss.It is good for you to have some home help.
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