I try to be positive, upbeat, smiley face, always saying that everything is great. Truth is...... this disease eats you alive.........I can't think of words to describe what it does to the care giver. If you're one..... YOU KNOW! You feel 'off balance'... you never know what to expect next. There are moments when our life almost feels normal, and the next moment you have a one year old who is 6'1" and 185#'s.
On the positive side..... David doesn't know or realize.....and for that I am grateful!!!! Many times I think how grateful I am that he's not the one having to care for me.
David's going through another decline; he's very confused, hallucinating.....etc..etc...
David's in the middle part of stage 6...... damn!
The 7 Stages of Alzheimer’s
By Shannon Dauphin
Experts have found that most Alzheimer’s patients go through seven stages of disease progression. The duration and symptoms might vary, but the general decline of Alzheimer's remains the same.
1. No Impairment
Individuals at this stage show no marked decline in their cognitive function. No memory problems show up on a regular basis.
2. Very Mild Impairment
Forgetfulness begins. The patient begins to forget names and small details, like where they put their glasses or if they took their medication that morning.
3. Mild Decline
At this point, family and friends begin to notice the symptoms. Losing things is more common, and the patient might begin having performance issues at work.
4. Moderate Decline
The problems are now clear in medical interviews. The patient begins forgetting personal history, recent events, and how to handle complex tasks, such as planning dinner or paying bills. They could begin acting withdrawn or subdued in social situations.
5. Moderately Severe Decline
While the patient may remember their own name and the names of those important to them, they begin to forget basic information, such as the current date, time, or season. Day-to-day tasks like cooking may no longer be safe.
6. Severe Decline
Now, the patient needs more help with basic activities like dressing and using the toilet. They might also experience behavioral changes, such as feeling suspicious or experiencing hallucinations. Someone at this stage might engage in repetitive behaviors or wander away, only to become confused and lost.
7. Very Severe Decline
In this final stage, the patient may lose the ability to speak coherently. They may need help with general hygiene, and may eventually lose muscle coordination and the ability to control movement. Their muscles typically grow rigid, the reflexes become unpredictable, and eventually even swallowing could become impaired.
Sorry to sound like a 'downer'....
I know that I have so much to be thankful for..... and..... I AM, but sometimes I need to 'whine!'
35 comments:
no need for appologizes...you are handling all this so well...it is hard...I understand my FIL has dimentia...and we never know from moment to moment what we will be dealing with...my heart goes out to you...you are awesome to do this for your husband..
I have been following you for quite some time, but not much of a commenter.
I admire you! But sometimes you need a break and more often you just need to vent!
I lost my mother last summer. She was in the earlier stages of Alzheimer's, but had severe health problems that took her from us before the Alzheimer's had advanced very far...
Dolores, you are not whining - you are expressing the pain and fear and exhaustion that you face on a daily basis. If expressing those emotions to your blogging friends helps you cope even a little, then that's exactly what you should do. We are here for you.
Love
Gilda
Oh honey, you can whine any time, we are all here to lean on when you need to. Do you have a support group you could join near you? It might be a great help to even talk to other caregivers. I have a friend who did that when her Mom had Altzheimers. Just a thought. I am praying for you, Delores. XO, Pinky
I just saw your earlier post about the support group......
Delores you can whine you can cry you can do anything you need to do, none of us will hold it against you we promise.
I KNOW how your feeling and it is overwhelming,for me as you know it is my MIL who has alzheimers,she is in stage 6 the hardest thing I did was place her in a nursing home after my hubby passed away.You dear heart ARE the caregiver to your husband...God love you......
They say God only gives you what you can handle.... you are ((Superwoman )) and deserve a halo too !!!
I am thinking of you often
Diane
I think sometimes your day can feel so discombobulated (sp?) that just having to type your thoughts into a single sentence helps some. Otherwise all your thoughts are just spinning around in your head unorganized.
Its the only way to put some organization and control into your life.
I find sometimes so much is going on I can't quite put it into words or it'd be a ginormous, rambling, one subject to another paragraph.
Oh, please don't be hard on yourself, the disease does enough of that to you. I am so sorry to hear things are not going well, and taking a turn for the worse. My prayers for you both.
I wish....I wish....You know Me, someone who has not walked in your shoes but who wishes she could take away the pain and sorrow...If only....
(((((HUG)))))
Dear Dolores,
I was thinking about you recently as it seemed that things were a bit quiet from your corner. I was really hoping that things were alright. I am sorry to hear that has not been the case. I read this post with such a lump in my throat as I remember this stage with my mom. There is no 2 ways about it ~ it's very hard to watch your loved one go through this. I so wish you didn't have to be going through this.
Please don't feel like you are whining. The way I see it, you are just telling it like it is.
Keeping you in my thoughts & prayers.
Hugs,
Kim
You are not whining...you are venting and you need to do that. You do not need to keep it all bottled up inside of you. I thought something must be going on, since you had not posted your weekly post. My heart goes out to you, my daughter's mother in law who was only diagnosed two and a half years ago....has slipped into stage 6. She is a little better right now, but a few weeks ago, it was really bad. I know enough to know that it will be bad again. I am so thankful you know the Lord and lean on Him, for the father in law does not. We are all praying that the silver lining in her having this cursed disease is that he comes to know Him. You are a great testimony to His strength and comfort. You are doing a lot and going through a lot. Praying for you....
You are not whining! This is truly one of life's horrible sides, I am so sorry that you must go through this. It is terribly difficult and my heart is always hurting for you. I just can't imagine how you cope at times, you can't be happy and joyful every minute because this disease changes by the minute! I have been amazed at your cheerful attitude as it is not possible to remain 'up' with this disease, every moment. I know how tough it was for my mother. Know that you are loved by so many....even David.
I do feel for you and my heart and prayers are with you and your family. Its okay to let it out as you feel the need, its good to get it off your chest and you keep us informed so we know what to pray for and so we can share your joy and sorrows.
Keep strong in the lord, praise him even when you are hurting. I found it does comfort me. Its what faith is all about.
God Bless you and yours.
'Moving Forward With Alzheimer's' is the bravest, most intelligent move you have ever made. WE are all your support group, your information network, your safety net.
Just want you to know I'm thinking of you and sending hugs. This journey is never easy.
Nancy
God understands what you are going through Delores. Go ahead and vent.
Oh Dolores, I'm sorry that the good time stopped. Believe me, I understand what you are going through. It's a very hard road. Try to remember that there are people out here who love you and send you good wishes and strength through the air.
Make sure to get time to yourself, if only to pet the animals.
xxx
barbara
As you know, dear one, I am going down the same road. Everyday I turn to Scripture and keep looking to God and reminding Him of His promises to me. I post daily on Facebook. Here is a great one from early April:
Psalm 73:24-28 The Living Bible-- "You guide me with your counsel, leading me to a glorious destiny. Whom have I in heaven but you? I desire you more than anything on earth. My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever. Those who desert him will perish, for you destroy those who abandon you. But as for me, how good it is to be near God! I have made the Sovereign LORD my shelter, and I will tell everyone about the wonderful things you do."
Dolores, I am praying for special tokens of the Lord's love and faithfulness for you everyday on this difficult journey.
Carol
So sorry for the bad days. You can Whine all you want. I am a cryer. Whineing is better. You are doing a great job. Thinking of you both always.
Dolores,
I was hoping that the window would last longer for you. It is a blessing when they don't know. I was fighting feeling depressed all week. I gave myself time to grieve and feel sad because the wonderful window had left last week, as I told you. So, I allowed myself time every day to feel sad, but then I changed the channel and lost myself in creating. My husband is in stage five, but does have spells of paranoia. My daughter brought him in the newspaper this morning and left him a little note. She said "Mom, I thought maybe it would help" As if anything can help when you are wresting jello.
You are in my thoughts and prayers every day. The good part is that we are going through something that so many others are experiencing. We are not alone.
I wish you lived nearby, I would take you on an art date and we could lose ourselves in something creative.
Just know that you are not alone, and although this is so hard, God is there and He truly must adore you for caring for David and for sharing your story to help others.
Karen
Whine on!
I think of you when you when I drive around the block and scream. Then I roll down the windows, put the pedal to the floor and blow out all the/my anger... every evening before the sun sets. Then I go home and smile again.
I can't even imagine what you are living through or what you are facing. But, I do know that your husband is so blessed to have you as his wife and that you are keeping him home (for as long as you can) and he is safe and happy. Life is hard.
P.S. Your pup made me smile. What a doll!
You can whine as much as your heart desires, Dolores. And don't feel guilty about it cause you are a really good wife and we are all here for you, to listen to you and to vent on. So sorry, David had deteriorated again but we can always hope that he will get better from here. Thank you so much for the birthday greetings. Take care!...Christine
You are not a whiner, Dolores. You are human. I'm sorry it's hard and so sad to see such a progressive disease take over.
Wow, have you ever amassed a fan club and support system, through this blog, this walk.
BUT, you would NOT have had these precious ladies in your life, if you had not had the courage to be vulnerable, open and transparent in your walk.
I can read how you have blessed others and because of that, how quick they are to come to your aid, with words; words of affirmation, love, grace, encouragement, support.
Words are powerful and healing, whether we are expressing our feelings, venting, writing a blog or listening to advice and responding to the love in others' words to us.
You use your words wisely, Delores. I believe that is a cherished trait to the Lord.
Much love to you, dear friend I have never met...
Your post moved me to tears my friend. Having a Father with Alz and a Father-in-law with Alz my mind seems to be consumed sometimes with whether or not my hubby and I will get it, too! The running "JOKE" between my Mr. AGPMan and I is that things aren't looking too good for our children. From what I understand ALZ is genetic and so that keeps us both concerned.
My prayer is that SOMETHING will be discovered (and SOON) on the ALZ front and a cure or treatment will be forthcoming. It's ALL scary...the Monster in the Brain and the one lurking outside of it certainly keeps me on my knees. Good place to be.
Love you girly~ Prayers ALWAYS going up for mercy, grace and peace.
Love, Rebecca
i have recently discovered your blog and also am impressed with your giving spirit in taking of your husband during these dark days. My MIL has Alzheimers and is in a nursing home a 10 hr. drive away and i have been wondering for some time now if my husband is showing some signs. i don't know...
i will say a prayer for you for strength and joy in the midst of sadness. God bless you.
Is it whining if it's the truth? Sometimes you just need to vent and that's okay. That's better than okay; it's very good. Much love to you and prayers, always prayers.
That is so sweet of you to take on another cat. I know it will be hard at first because the 17 years old cat will have no use for it but I hope it works out. Keep them separated awhile and then just let them be together under supervision. Try to give your older cat a lot of attention when the other is around. Also, if they like treats you can try to get them close to each other by offering treats to them. I don't know the age of the new cat but I hope its not too young as the energy won't be appreciated by the other. Baby steps with this. If it looks like the hair will fly just separate them and try again tomorrow. They usually will figure it out amongst many hisses and growls. Good Luck and hugs to David.
yder presenscea clw
Sending love and thinking of you daily.
Delores, thank you so much for being such a faithful follower and always leaving such sweet, positive comments, I REALLY appreciate it! Hope today was a better day for you. XO, Pinky
whine away...you've got some pretty good listeners out here...and nobody has to know a word you say!!!
Just whine all you want and when you want to, I'm here and I will listen! Thank you for sharing the 7 steps of Alzheimer, I didn't know.
Just remember, you need to vent, or you might get sick yourself! You need to and here I am for sure!!!
Hugs and love
FABBY
Dolores,
you whine all you want! We need to be able to express how we feel. I remember taking care of grandma through the years and watching the many changes this disease takes our loved ones through and it is absolutely overwhelming to know that there is nothing you can do to bring your loved one back. You have always remained thankful and upbeat in your posts but sometimes you just have to lay it on the table; if only so your friends know how to pray. Pray I will!! Just know my friend in the middle of this terrible storm God is there...it may not feel like it on some days but he is there waiting to comfort you and walk you through this darkness that at times just breaks your heart...He is there to give you the strength one moment at a time. I found that is all I could handle~ he met me where I was and he will meet you and sustain you.
Love and blessings,
Vikki
I'm so very sorry you are going through this, sweet Dolores. My mother is in stage 7. I go there at lunchtime to feed her. Sometimes she'll still try feeding herself...and forgets mid-stream what to do with the food in the spoon...and ends up putting it in her juice, or in the palm of her left hand.....or in my lap. It's very sad. She can't walk, dress or take care of her bodily functions anymore. It's so sad. Hang in there!!! Many prayers..........
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