Our granddaughter, Sarah....the girl in the middle, had a ballet recital last Saturday night. I've missed her previous recitals, but this time I was determined to find a way to go. This would require an overnight visit with our daughter's family 2 1/2 hours from here.Traveling has become difficult with David, so for the first time I found respite care for him at a care center a mile from our house. After interviewing them,
I felt good about the care he would receive while there for 2 days and 1 night.
Last Saturday morning I took him, and he was fine about it, until we walked inside. He became upset, and he kept telling me that he couldn't believe I was doing this to him.
I came very close to taking him home and forgetting my trip to Houston. Thankfully the nurse and aides were so kind and understanding. They suggested I go ahead and leave, and he'd be fine. Saying this was hard to do doesn't begin to say how I felt walking away from him!!!
I called frequently, and I was told that he was doing fine. On the second day his room mate told him that I was there. When he couldn't find me, he became very angry and upset. Thankfully my best friend went to see him; she calmed him down and assured him I'd be there to take him home in a couple of hours.
He was so happy to see me, and happy to be at home.
I was afraid the stay might make him more confused, but thankfully it didn't.
For now, when I do this again, I'm going to find someone to stay here at the house with him.....
********
Last Friday our 17 1/2 year old Crissy died. I miss her, but I feel comforted knowing she's whole again.
(I do believe our animals will go to heaven)
THANK YOU GOD for
ONE DAY AT A TIME
30 comments:
I am so glad that you did go and I'm sure your family was glad to have you there. I'm sorry for the hardship, but David would be cared for and I'm glad it didn't cause him any stress on return. Dolores, you know that he has no idea how it can hurt you when he says hateful things. My mom said some things to me I wish she hadn't, but in hindsite I realized it was part of the condition. It isn't who she was and it isn't who David is. Unfortunately we have to put up with the extra 'people' from time to time :D. Your granddaughter is beautiful and I believe she will make a wonderful ballerina! So glad you are getting to be a part of their lives growing up. :D
Oh Delores, I'm SO sorry about Crissy! My Kiki was 18 when she crossed over and I Know she's in Heaven too!
So glad you held your own and went on to Houston! It must have been SO difficult for you and I KNOW you were constantly worried about him...Bless both of you!!!
Hope you two have a GOOOOD Weekend!!
hughugs
I'm really glad you went, even though it was very hard. I'm sure it was just because it was an odd place to David caused his upset. My dad got all turned around in strange places, but was fine the moment he got home.
I'm so sorry about Crissy, but darned glad Abby found you!
PS: Your granddaughter looks adorable!
Much love,
barbara
I'm so glad you got to go to the recital. I also know how hard it is to leave our loved ones behind. They can make us feel so guilty. I hope he's doing well now he's back in his own surroundings.
I'm so sorry to hear about your kitty, glad you have the ne Miss Abby to love. Mr. P is doing well right now, it's almost scary. I always wonder is this the calm before the storm? Sending you hugs darling. ~lynne~
Sending you a whole bunch of hugs and a whole lot of encouragement...it is so important that you keep your self healthy and happy!!!
I know you're missing the kitty ...sending some puppy licks from Zoe...
I'm so glad you were able to find a way to get to your granddaughter's recital. The only somewhat good thing about the short term memory loss is that often they don't remember things they say or do. I think sometimes it's harder on the one without memory loss.
Your granddaughter looks so pretty in her costume.
I'm so sorry to hear about Crissy. Losing a pet is so difficult. It's so true that they are members of the family.
Hugs to you,
Kim
I understand how painful that must have been to 'leave' David. He was frightened...it was permanent. Poor dear. You need this time away to make you whole to carry on and be the best you can for David. I am glad you went ahead even though it was so difficult for you both. Having someone come in will keep David in familiar surroundings and should make it much easier.
Your gd is in perfect form...just beautiful, I bet it meant the world to her that you could come to see her.
Sending you a big hug! I know how hard that had to be for you. Dementia affects the husband or wife of one with the illness so much. Where is the line between caring and stopping one's own life....Your granddaughter looks so beautiful. So sorry about your kitty. Praying your days and nights are calm and restful.
I am sure the granddaughter felt so special that you came while having to leave David in respite care.
Hugs and prayers for the journey ahead.
Carol
How difficult for you and yet, you learned something new and valuable for a future time. I'm so glad that David was happy to see you and I know that you were happy to see him. Ahhh, so Abby has been sent to comfort you both. How cool is that?! (I agree with you, I think whatever is near and dear to us is near and dear to our Heavenly Father. I'm certain we'll see our beloved pets again.)
Your little granddaughter is such a cutie pie. Hope that you were able to show David lots of pictures.
I'm so sorry to hear about your cat. I know how hard it is to lose one. I've always had cats and have lost quite a few over the years, but I still remember each and every one. I believe they all go to heaven. I remember Billy Graham saying he was sure his dog would be there because heaven is a perfect place and to him that means his dog too.
I hope you were able to enjoy your trip to Houston. With Alzheimer's it's so much like having a small child again. I can remember leaving my kids in nurseries and having them cry and carry on and then feeling so guilty about leaving them, but usually they were happy when I returned. I bet David was actually happy most of the time.
Maybe next time David would be perfectly content at that place. You just never know. When I moved my Dad to the nursing home he thought he was on vacation and it was a hotel. As he became more forgetful it actually got easier in some ways.
Dolores, your granddaughter is beautiful!I am very glad for you , but even more for her , that you were able to be there. She is growing up so quickly and she will remember you being there. David will forget you were not there for such a brief 2 days, and you are with him now.
Your cat lived a very long life,it is sad she is gone. Your ( sorry, David's)new cat is as you said "..what a blessing!".
Dolores, I'm so sorry that you had such a difficult week. But I'm glad that you were able to participate in this special event for your granddaughter. And even though David was upset while you were away, he was still well cared for and safe.
I hope you'll allow yourself more of these outings in the future. You take such good care of him, but you have to take care of yourself too.
Love
Gilda
Dolores, I know this must have been SO difficult cause I did the same thing when I had my Mother here. I hadn't had a vacation in almost 3 years so decided to put her in respite care too. She did fine but it was hard on both of us. Your granddaughter is beautiful!!! Looks like she is a great dancer too! So sorry to hear about KIKI, our Nettie was 17 1/2. I miss her too. XO, Pinky
Im sorry, I meant Crissy.
Your emotions must have run the gauntlet from highs to lows. Good that you got out to see your g-daughter's recital, I bet she loved that you were there.
Good to know David did okay at the center but nothing is like having someone to stay in with him in his own surroundings. Next time that will sure take a load of stress off your mind and his.
So very sorry to read of your sweet Crissy's passing, they become part of our family and hearts. I still miss my sweet cats and its been 5+ years. Good to know the lord sent the perfect sweet baby to you in Abby, she looks like she has taken over the home...sofa and all. God knows you all needed his tangible love and Abby will keep you filled up.
I so pray your weekend will be blessed and coming week. I pray all is uneventful.
God bless you all and keep you safe.
Hi!
I am captivated by little Sarah! So glad you braved everything to see her perform.
I remember how difficult it was the first time I went away for a weekend ... leaving mother in respite care. Torture more like it.
Having someone come into your home next time? Great plan. Please do it ...
Delores, I can imagine how you felt when David thought you were deserting him at the care center. What a difficult experience for David and you. My heart goes out to you. I think your idea of having someone come to the house is much better, though. Sorry about the kitty passing away. I am so glad you got to see your granddaughter at her recital. I'm sorry you are having to go through all these trials in your life.
I am so sorry about Crissy, Dolores. But I know she is in good hands. 17 years old? Wow! You really did take care of her. Your granddaughter looked very graceful. Hope David is better...Christine
Dolores, I am truly sorry about Crissy but she is in kitty heaven now. God must of needed another little angel so he took Crissy. Glad you went to see your lovely granddaughter perform, it is such a joy to see them performing, she must of been proud you were there. Yes, I think David will be much happier in his own home with someone to take care of him should you have to go again anywhere. Especially near his kitty that he loves....take care.
Lovingly, Lu
Congrats on the princess, she looks so cute and looks like she ballets beautifuly too! I have a 4 year old that goes to ballet classes and I will need to go 3 hrs. away to a recital if she has one! I'm so glad you had a couple of days to yourself to rest and have a nice time, because I'm sure it's exhausting to deal with a loved one with alzheimer. Try to do this again for your sanity, hon. I'm also glad you found your hubby OK!
Have a nice, blessed week!
FABBY
Oh, I'm so sorry about Crissy, wow, so many years! It's so sad, I still miss my pug Bennie, who died last year, they become members of our families...he was 12 1/2 yrs. old and I felt I had him for ever! She'll be in Pet's Heaven with God too!
Love
FABBY
That was difficult, I am sure. I am glad that you got away and saw your lovely granddaughter perform. It looks like she was the best one in that photo.
I am sorry to hear about your cat, I believe they go to heaven also. I am so glad that you have another cat at home.
Wishing you a peaceful evening.
Karen
So sorry you lost Chrissy . She was so pretty. I believe that heaven would not be so grand without animals.
Glad you got to go on your trip. I know how hard it is to leave him and having to take him away from home was hard. I have took mom twice and it was hard on her but It helped me out a lot. I keep saying I won't take her again but I do. Getting someone to come to your home is a good idea. My sis has stayed with mom when I go for a few days. Seems better for everyone.
Helloo my friend, if you decide to change the bedding be sure to let me know!!! XO, Pinky
I'm so sorry about your sweet kitty. I'm glad to hear that David made it through the new situation and that you were able to get a break. I can't imagine how hard that must have been for you. Bless your heart!
Miss D...
I thought about you while I was in Nebraska watching my hubby care for his Momma. Truthfully...the entire experience of placing Steve's father in Nursing Home Care was overwhelming. But...Steve's Momma is doing GREAT so far and we are trusting God to take care of her.
What I know today is that God always provides His strength when we lean on Him for His love and grace.
I'm praying for you.
Love, Rebecca
good for you going to your granddaughters recital...you need to do those things for yourself...
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
My heart aches with every word you write. I wish I lived close so I could be of some help to you both. Keep your chins up~I know this is SO very hard. I'm so glad you got to see your grand daughter dance. That's a blessing for you and for her~
Having you there at that ballet meant so much to Sarah!
And I am so proud of you for having the courage to do what I know dad would want you to do.
I know your mind was worried and or concerned for dad while you were here, but I am glad you were physically here to be with us. We've missed your visits!
We love you and appreciate that you did it for Sarah! It truly meant a lot to her and to all of us!
Love,
Karen
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