Its been awhile since I've posted. I've had no desire to update, but here goes.
On Thursday David's sister went with me to see him. He looked more rested than previously, but no real recognition or response to us.
On Thursday David's sister went with me to see him. He looked more rested than previously, but no real recognition or response to us.
On Friday the visit was the same until I was ready to leave. For the first time in several weeks......he looked at me (I had to hold his head up) and he said I was pretty and he loved me. Wow, what a sweet surprise and a blessing for me!......................I'll hang on to those words forever.
Today (Sunday) I took David's precious dog, Casey to see him. I was hoping she'd make him smile, but she didn't. Most of the time he sits stooped over in his chair with his head bowed down.
He doesn't walk anymore and when he talks, it doesn't make sense..... except for those precious words on Friday.
I was raised not to hate anything, but 'by golly' I hate Alzheimer's with a passion.
On a positive note: I feel blessed that David is calm and in a home where he is nurtured and cared for.
Next month will be our 49th anniversary. We are blessed that we've had so many wonderful years together. I can't complain.
God is good!!
30 comments:
Delores: I have tears in my eyes for the grief I feel for you and David and also, for the sweet gift you were given when David spoke to you so clearly and sincerely.
Alzheimer's is cruel and it is fine to 'hate' something that is not of God.
I heart you in spirit and from afar ...
I know your heart hurts. This is the hardest way to lose your loved one and I hate it right there with you!David's spiral down seems very quick. I too am so thankful for the good care he gets and I am thankful for your friends and family and the good care you get. God bless you and David Dolores, and may He give you the comfort you need in these difficult days.
Hugs, Debbie
I think I will always remember David said those sweet words to you too, but of course, their meaning to you is beyond price.I think I hate Alzheimer's too, we could all be part of a mutual hate for Alzheimer's' Club, the membership fees would be prayers for those who have fallen prey to this curse and their families.
I hope your bittersweet anniversary brings you some joy in the memories of your long and happy marriage.
I can not imagine the pain this whole crappy disease causes you (and David). What a blessing and a gift for him to give you that moment of total complete cognition? Your strength is profound, Dolores. I know you don't know that, but it really is. You are both in our prayers.
Dolores, my heart just breaks for you! But I'm also crying tears of joy at the sweet words from Friday! God is so good to have allowed you to hear that! It is such an awful disease, and I hate it too!! That's actually the last post I just wrote! Early Happy Anniversary! Though, I know it will be a difficult one, but I pray that God gives you more of those special moments. You're in my thoughts and prayers! Hugs!
You will always hurt when you see him and remember the David you met and have known til this malignant illness took hold of him and yes, it's an awful way to lose a wonderful loved one. I think David's love for you when he told you, "you are pretty" it came directly from his heart and his love for you..I don't think it came from his momentanious lucid mind!! Love is stronger than that illness! May God bless you and hold your hand always in this hard path, dear Dolores. Love,
FABBY
HI sweet Delores. My heart ACHES for you. This does sound very familier though; my FIL did the same thing. Head down and didn't make any sense usually. I am THRILLED for you that David spoke those precious words to you!!!!!!!!! I know this anniversary will be bittersweet. Shoot, now I am all tearing up. God bless. XO, Pinky
Oh...Dolores...yes you can complain...How could you not complain...that darn old Alzheimers, anyways. You have held your held up and been a wonderful wife to a man that has a terrible disease. What a wonderrful lady you are. Take care of yourself. I pray for you every night, Dolores. Really I do.
God bless you and your family,
Susannah
My Mom has Alzheimers and I agree with you. HUGS HUGS HUGS B
You are so blessed to have had 49 years despite the current situation. He loves you and yes you are pretty! I am so glad you still blog so positively. We all hate Alzheimer's with you.
Hugs and prayers,
Carol
Hugs to you. You have every right to hate Alzheimers. Hugs and more hugs.
Delores,
I've been checking for an update and hoping for a glimmer of happy news. My Aunt told me and you may have said it too that the disease is so much harder on the loved ones because the afflicted aren't aware of the progression after a certain point. Hugs to you.
May I join you in hating this disease? It's a thief and a robber, which is exactly like its author. Sometimes it is a challenge to look beyond the current circumstances to the ultimate win. David continues to amaze me when he offers you sweet assurances in his moments of presence. We can trust the Heavenly Father with where he is when away from you. Always sending you love and prayers...
Your beautiful attitude just makes me want to cry...I am so sorry, this is such a horrible disease. I don't think I could be anywhere near as strong as you. I am so happy for you that he recognized you and said such beautiful words..I know you will treasure them forever!
You always are so full of grace. Your faith shines in every word you write and I think God is going to say 'yes, Dolores, you go right ahead and hate Alzheimers'. Any of us who has gone through this disease has every right to hate what it does to our loved ones. Sometimes, when their true self shines through and they recognize us and tell us they love us is a huge blessing from above. Hang on, dear friend...
David's heart does not have alzheimers. xxx
Oh Babydoll....Loving you today!!!
(((((HUGS)))))
I have to tell you that you and your family were definitely thought of as I wrote parts of my post! Thinking of you and Dave and your precious grandkids! Praying for you! Hugs!
Hi darling, you know I share the same "hate" for this awful disease. Sending tons of love and lots of hugs ~lynne~
you are such a strong lady...sharing all this with us...sending you hugs...and well wishes...
My Dear Dolores, those words, you're pretty and that he loved you, really touched my heart. Those are words that will stay with you forever, that was so sweet of him. Dolores, want to thank you again for that info, it will be delivered this week. I also got help for bathing him. Hugs...Lu
This is about the 4th time I've attempted to leave a comment ... every other time I ended up erasing it as nothing seems right to say. Seeing the last photo of David smiling so big and knowing what this disease has done to him makes my heart ache for you and him. I also can't help but joining you in hating Alzheimer's disease. It truly is the long, sad goodbye.
On a brighter note, David's moment of clarity is a beautiful thing. I know you will treasure that moment when the real David shined through.
You're always in my thoughts and prayers.
Hugs to both of you,
Kim
Hi Dolores - I'm sorry David is going down so fast. But a moment of clarity there and he knew you and knew he loved you. You hang on to that. And 49 years - wow - that is something nowadays. What a blessing that is! Bless you, sweet lady.
Oh how nice that David was able to utter those words. What a precious thing to hold on to your heart. I pray he gets better, Dolores...Christine
I agree with you about Alzheimer's - I don't hate much, but this I hate too.
How wonderful that God gave you that lovely lovely line to you.
Love, sandie
It's totally amazing for you to get such wonderful words from him! It really makes you wonder if they have moments of recognition that last for a few seconds. I don't know if that's good or bad.
I've been watching for you to post to see how its going. Sometimes posting to your blog is so hard. It's like you just don't have anything to give. Like putting a sentence together is just too taxing.
Even now it's still hard for me.
Those words meant such a lot, I am so glad he said them to you.
I don't mind infrequent posts from you, for me it means no new negatives! Happy weekend, Dolores. Enjoy Spring weather, rejoice in just being alive.
Hi Dolores.
I hate it too. It's such a hard chapter for you. I am glad that David is in a place where he receives such good care and that you are close enough to visit him often.
My husband is still in those in again off again paranoia stages of Dementia. I was thinking today, I wonder if it is the beginning of them not knowing who we are? The first stage might just be that they have forgotten intermittently the good friend that you have always been to them.
Somehow thinking that made it easier for me today. He doesn't speak to me very much, and is so distant. I believe that this gradual goodbye helps a bit.
Your last post about the "roller coaster" certainly says it all.
Wishing you extra blessings and God's grace.
Karen
Dolores, I'm so sorry for your heartache. My mother, too, sits with her head hanging down as you have described your dear husband doing. Your transparency in sharing this detail has reminded me this behavior is disease related. Thank you, God bless you.
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