It seems like life should stand still because David is gone. Life goes on...... I can't believe that my sweet David is now in heaven.
Alzheimer's is such a wicked and cruel disease. I was remembering today the little 'deaths' along the way as we moved forward with Alzheimer's. Now don't get me wrong, there were many, many sweet, precious and funny times along this journey and I've shared a lot of them with you.
Little deaths may sound strange, but for me each time David lost an ability .....it felt like a small death. I quickly learned when he lost an ability it was gone, no turning back......gone forever.
Here's a few of the little deaths:
Worrying and not know what was wrong, then hearing the probable diagnosis.
Going to the Alzheimer's Disease Center - Baylor College of Medicine in Houston and hearing the diagnosis again, only to find out he was in the mid stage rather than the early stage like I thought.
Watching him lose his confidence.
Not driving..
I paid the bills, but he was the one who understood and handled all the IRS 'stuff'...
Not being able to order from a menu or make any decisions.
When he stopped reading, writing and watching TV.
When he didn't remember friends, family and me.....
Okay, enough of this sad stuff.
Last Thursday, Friday and Saturday our best friends invited (insisted) that I go with them to the beach at Port Aransas (our families favorite vacation spot).
Our best friends have a daughter almost the same
age as three of my granddaughters, they were invited to go also.
The weather was perfect, our condo was perfect, the friendship....always perfect. It was fun watching the four girls laugh and have fun.
I cried and I missed David being there, but being with people I love and who love me.....was such a blessing.
Me, surrounded by love.
GOD IS GOOD!
GOD IS GOOD!
28 comments:
It was a long hard journey, but you handled it with grace and dignity. David is proud of you.
Been praying for you.
Oh, Dolores, it is so nice to see you smiling. Yes, you will keep missing sweet David but life does go on. Take care! Thank heavens for family and friends!...Christine
It is wonderful to see you smiling and having a good time. Your friends are true treasures. I am so glad you went and the girls too. I know this will be hard for quite awhile but I hope you can enjoy the fun days. I also hope you continue your blog. XO, Pinky
Kids are the greatest! Been saying my prayers for you, Dolores.
When I was a widow, I tried to do different things than what I did with my husband to cope. Grief, like Alzheimer's, is so different for every individual. How wonderful, though, to share your time with your best friend and grandchildren. You have had such a marvelous attitude all through this journey, that I know you will find your way with the LORD's help. And tears are really good for us too. They help us move forward with the next stage.
Hugs and prayers,
Carol
Papa and I have discussed this very subject, grief is a mix of emotions and we each have our turns at anger, fear, sadness. The little deaths, I truly understand that.
You remain my inspiration, God remains my guide.
much love, Judi.
Dolores, I think you hit the nail on the head when you described Alzheimer's as a series of little deaths. That's exactly what it is. That's why the ultimate deaths of our loved ones, as painful as they are, come as both a devastating loss and a welcome blessing.
I'm so glad you went on this vacation. I can see that it did you a world of good.
Love
Gilda
I nodded throughout...you've captured the feeling exactly...how the sun can shine, how the flowers can smell so good...how can one laugh again...
Your friends make me want to cheer! A change of scenery yet in a familiar place, the good company, the grands, the girls laughing. It all serves to remind us that life moves forward...differently perhaps, but forward.
Love to you, Dear One.
It's Wonderful to see you get out and about! All the babies are Beautiful and Just what the Dr Ordered...Love. There is no Greater medicine then that!
Loving you today sweet friend!!!
(((HUG)))
That last picture...so sweet! I am so glad your friends convinced you to go...such sad and yet sweet memories. I am so sorry for your loss.
Hi darling, I think of you daily, I'm so glad you have friends surrounding you. hugs ~lynne~
It's hard to read it because I know it would hurt if it happened to us. I can just imagine. I am so sorry it happened to you two - you guys seem such a wonderful twosome.
I am glad you have friends - that are taking care of you for now.
That was a nice time.
Have a good day.
Dear Dolores
I was happy to see you at my
blog and to post a comment again.
Thank you.
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Many a time I came here after the loss of David. To find you away.
Now right away I came again today and to read of your vacation and the girls had. To a dear friends place. That was very nice for you and her.
Qualities of mind and heart
Nobly you have expressed
Your courage, honour as a wife and faith to David.
In facing storms of his life.
To have had to let him go into the arms of the Lord.
Out of your sight.
Yet in Gods time you both will
unite again. That is the promise
he makes . A wonderful PROMISE.
===============================
Your tender smile and warmth of love
Was so openly expressed
For everything you are to your family, friends and us bloggers.
God Bless you dear Dolores.
Memories of sadness at times, tears are all part of Gods healing. His Ideal Grace.
Step by step.Just for you.
We all love you dearly.
You have a large Circle of admirers. I am one included.
Such beautiful pictures darling, I was just thinking the other day.."I hope we continue to see the lovely photos of her family Dolores always shared with us"..and here they are! with you looking gorgeous with such lovely smile and sorrounded by your beautiful g'girls. Yes, our extended young ones, that started out from your happy and blessed union of you and dear David, is what you have now and with the help of our Lord, you will go on to be happy for you and David in this plane, as where he is, he'll be enjoying it along with you all. Thank you my sweet friend for your wishes on my big 60th. birthday!
Big hugs and love,
FABBY
That's interesting because a couple of days ago, I had the thought that maybe your friends would invite you to go along with them to this place, I thought it would be a comfort to you. Obviously, I'm thinking of you! Blessings to you, Delores.
My favorite memory of David was of the posts about him enjoying his country music and clapping along...so yes there were many fun things along with all the sad for all of us who have followed you for so long. So glad you chose to get away for just a bit...sometimes when the good ones pass the hardest part is enjoying life again..even for a weekend or so. David is smiling down on you...xoxo
So happy that you are carrying on with things in your life. You have your family and friends to help you through this and your memories of David. You were such a great love to him and took such good care of him. You will have sad thoughts at times, but time will heal. Love and hugs to you.
Little deaths is an accurate description, that is what they have felt like each time something was lost. Thank you for sharing your journey, you help me more than you know.
It is good that you spent time with friends, it is good to see you smile. Big hugs to you, you remain in my prayers.
I, too, take note of and count the 'little deaths', the loss of another ability.
I have been off my computer and so very sorry to read this news. Prayers for you that the LORD will ease your sadness. We all know where David is now and what he is seeing, things we can only imagine. I know you know you will see him again and what a reunion that will be.
My prayers are with you and your family.
It makes my heart glad to know you have such precious friends & family to uplift & encourage you during this time. I also believe you are an uplifting & encouraging person to have around.In the midst of your grief you are thankful.
Hi Dolores,
What a beautiful place and your girls are so lovely. Not only does your life go on, but you are surrounded by wonderful friends and a gorgeous loving family. Grief takes time, but from the smile on your face, I know that the love that surrounds you puts it's arms around you as you heal.
Karen
I have been thinking of you Delores... praying that you are ok. You and your friend look like sisters almost! Know that I hold you in my prayers.
Oh honey, it seems when I think of you, you immediately POP UP on my blog! Thank you sweetie, I just love looking at your photos, they're your deepest memories. Praying you're holding up in this sad times, along with your dearest family.
Love,
FABBY
Hi Dear Dolores, first of all I thank you for visiting my blog, could not believe it when I saw your name. I am happy you went with these sweet friends, know that even though you were so sad for David, the love and laughter of the young girls gives us all courage to go on. I know you have sad memories with that horrible disease that took your dear David, but you also have many, many good memories with him throughout your married life together and those memories are the ones that will sustain you with the help of God.
Please take care, prayers...Lu
Isn't it amazing how those "little" gifts from God-- being with friends who love you, a beautiful beach, and sky bring such comfort? I have found that looking at or holding something that God created and marveling at His glory brings me peace and acceptance of "what is". Praise God for your loving friends.
Thank God for friends! What would we do without them! What a wonderful time you had with your friends - even tho you will still have moments of sadness, friends will share that with you, too. Cute pictures of the girls!
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