Yesterday wasn't the best of days. David was very irritable and having his sightings again. Goodness knows I can't blame him one little bit for being irritable. It's so confusing for him to see things that aren't really there. I can't complain though, because we've had so many good days. But on the days when he has the 'sightings' and the Alzheimer's fog look on his face....... breaks my heart and scares me too. The not knowing what will happen next. Oh well, none of us know what will happen next in our life, and it's good that we don't know the future.....let it be a surprise.......
Do I agree with David or don't I agree....that is the question??? I've been in this spot before, but it's always so hard to know how to react to David when he sees something that I don't see.
Tonight we were in our pool, and he wanted to know where the wagons were that went around the pool wall. He's mentioned the wagons a couple of nights ago, and I ignored his remark. Last night he wanted to know what I did with the wagons that I had running along the top of the wall, and he was determined to find out what I did with them..............
I made the mistake of telling him that I hadn't put any wagons on the wall.... He proceeded to get upset with himself and me.........never mean, he just clams up and broods. He's such a sweet and gentle soul, he'd never be mean.....
I made the mistake of telling him that I hadn't put any wagons on the wall.... He proceeded to get upset with himself and me.........never mean, he just clams up and broods. He's such a sweet and gentle soul, he'd never be mean.....I'm a 'FIXER' ....... I want to fix David, and of course I can't! When he sees things that I don't see, sometimes I agree with him, and then sometimes I tell him the truth. I just simply don't know what to say to make him feel better.
Here's a sweet picture I took of David and Casey just before he noticed the wagons were missing. 
It's so confusing to my 'little brain'...... because his 'sightings' come on so suddenly and unexpectedly. I was feeling so good about him a couple of hours earlier. He had reminded me that I needed to go to the mailbox, because I hadn't picked up the mail, which I had forgotten to do.......
"who has Alzheimer's?"
As I'm finishing up this post, I'm feeling guilty for complaining or feeling sad. I know there are so many people dealing with issues a lot worse than ours, and for that I am sorry.
And I say, "thank you God that our issues are our issues...... I wouldn't want to trade with anyone else."
5 comments:
I happened to be on my computer and read your post ..... you know I had to weigh in on the topic! Just keep agreeing with David ~ it's OK to do so. Unless you can tell that your agreement is agitating him more. In my experience Mother wouldn't remember these sightings for very long ... and if she brought up the same sighting another time I would continue to agree with her and then change the subject as quickly as possible.
Maybe it's time for you to write a poem ?????
Dolores.....You are as strong as Latane. Hang in there...you are doing a wonderful job. You always see two sides of it. Proud of you.
Friends,
Susannah
Have been a much moved reader of your posts for some while...
Would very much agree with Helen's thoughts here. Acknowleging/receiving D's misinterpreted perception will do no harm,and may well release tension and anxiety.Perhaps lightly coining a family joke type'code name' for his 'sighting tendency ' might help move on, rather than puzzle and worry you both.
I wondered if there were a clue in your photo with the lengthening shadows and light dark contrasts and D's squinting gaze to the sun?? So I googled...
Hope you might find this link helpful (if it works)
Fingers crossed
Chris UK
http://www.alz-nca.org/aboutalz/vision.php
Dolores,I wonder if just agreeing is best. Wayne "sees" people and one commenter said maybe he truly does, could be guardian angels, etc. I understand with wagons that it is different. Chris sent me - your writing is so familiar as we are on the journey, too. Sending a hug.
What a great life you have had!
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