I've said often, life with Alzheimer's is unpredictable. One afternoon this week life was good, we were going for our afternoon ride.
Getting into the car, David became frustrated and upset with himself and with me because he couldn't find the handle to open the car door.
Riding around calmed him, and later he said he was sorry for the way he exploded. He tried to explain to me what it's like having Alzheimer's. I sure wish I could have recorded his conversation, but basically he kept saying how horrible it is to lose everything little by little. The one thing he kept repeating, "I can't read anymore." Oh, how I wish he could still read..... he loved reading so much!
The water in our pool is still too cool for him to swim, but he's enjoyed sweeping the patio, petting his kitty, Abby, and letting Casey in and out the back door.
All in all we've had a good week!
And I say, "thank you God for good days!"
31 comments:
I can only imagine how he must feel. Everything that was second nature is now a chore. It must be very frustrating.
I'm glad you've had a good week! That's what we keep hoping for!
Glad I was online when your post popped up ... I have to say David still has a wonderful energy in his eyes AND that is good. Rides are good too, I remember.
it must be a terrible thing to go through for you and him....just going through my FIL's dimentia is so hard...
What a wonderful relationship you and David have! He was embarrassed when he was frustrated and apologized and then he trusted you to talk about his disabilities. He still has the ability to show you love, sweep, and swim. Cool!
Hugs and prayers,
Carol
It must be so heartbreaking to watch this happen to David but it must be so much worse when he realizes that he has Alzheimers. How sad for him. One would at least wish he would not miss those things.
God love you - each of you. What a challenge God has presented to you - I knew well a local man this too was his affliction. So frustrating for all in the 'helplessness' one feels. We don't want to upset them further, but lots of times we need strength. HUGS to you my dear one. I love the love that you share with David and the 'snap' in his eyes on his good days. May God keep you my friend.
Hi Dolores, I do understand - I'm sorry David can't read anymore. My MIL can't either, and can't do her crosswords, and can't follow a TV program. She's just sitting now, talking less. Of course, it's much worse since she had her stroke a couple of months ago. I'm thankful, too, for your new kitty, Abby, Dolores. She came at just the right time I think. I'm sorry you lost your Crissy. I believe our beloved pets go to heaven, too - only good things are in heaven, and when God created the animals He said "It is good". I'm glad summer is here for David, too. He can be outside more and play with his critters and swim. I think of you guys often and pray that there is lots of "good" in each day!
Thinking of you, Jenny
The pictures you show of David . . no one could tell he has it. He's always smiling. I can hardly get my mother to smile and she sure never apologizes for her crabbiness. Does David miss the reading or would he like audio books instead?
Dolores, can you believe the cool is hanging on this year? Surely swimming weather will come soon. Not here, but where you are! :D
Swimming weather will surely be here any day now. As Debbie said, the cool weather sure doesn't want to leave us. David has a wonderful spark in his eyes and smile.
Karla
I know so little about this and feel that I am learning so much here. Would audio books be any help?
Just learned of a book written by a man with Alzheimer's...it was told of in my morning devotion...the book is called "My Journey into Alzheimer's Disease" by Robert Davis. It sounds like an incredible book. One of the quotes from the book: "Many Christians have found that when life completely tumbles in, when they are without strength or any hope or help for themselves, or when their minds become too tangled to even hold thoughts, that God overrules the circumstances and that Christ comes to minister to them at the very point of their need."
May David know that not being able to read is a temporary thing...a walking through the valley...all things will be restored.
Love to you both and blessings...
How amazing it is that David can find the words and thoughts to express himself to you. Knowing even in this chapter what a best friend he has in you. He is still brilliant, because he can find the words. He can feel sorry for his behavior.
Even now in the earlier stages my husband is just distant. The windows of him feeling sorry for his actions are very few and far between.
I love David's face and his smile, revealing the sweet heart that lives inside him.
And you, still thankful even in the middle of such a difficult chapter. God must love you two so much.
Karen
How frustrating for him...God Knew what he was doing when He brought You into David's life sweetie...Praying Blue Skies and calmness finds you this weekend...
(((HUG)))
I can't even imagine how hard it must be to be aware of losing everything little by little. It would be very hard not to be frustrated. My heart goes out to David and you as I also know how frustrating and sad it is to watch this happen to your loved one.
I'm glad to hear that in the scheme of things you had a good week. I hope the weather warms up soon and David will be able to enjoy the pool once again.
Hugs,
Kim
I think it is amazing that he can express how he feels about this!!!!! It must be awful to be in this stage of the disease, KNOWING you are losing things. That would be the worst pasrt for me. I hope you are able to have a good weekend. XO, Pinky PS, I thank God for YOUR good days!!!!!
Hi sweetie, Mr. P is experiencing more of those times, right now his has "slowed" down and stalled if that makes sense. We're so thankful for the good days. I think of you often and say many prayers for you, along with our mates loosing what memory they have, we're slowly loosing what mates we had... love ya girl. hugs ~lynne~
Hi Delores. I can see how frustrating this disease is for David and you. I'm thinking you must trim his beard? You do a great job--he looks quite handsome. From all you share about David--I can see that he is a very special man--a very dignified, honest, responsible, loving, considerate man. He has a wonderful wife, too.
It must be so hard for him....and for you to always have to figure out how to handle each situation minute by minute. Thank goodness he can still put into words what it feels like....and that he remembered getting aggravated. It is such an awful disease! But you sure are an outstanding wife and such an inspiration on how to create a warm experiences that help sooth you both.
Love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! L~
I am so sorry he can't read anymore. And I wish the water in the pool would warm up fast. Thank goodness riding around calms him down. It must be so hard knowing what is happening to yourself and not being able to do anything about it. He is so lucky to have you. I pray you have a wonderful weekend.
I can imagine how frustrating it must be for David to lose something he's always enjoyed, reading. I am so sorry, Dolores. Is there a possibility it could come back? Take care!...Christine
Dolores, my heart was breaking while I read your post today. Who could have imagined, pre-Alzheimer's, that such a simple little thing as opening the car door would have caused such a big issue for both of you?
I was also astonished to read that David afterwards was able to apologize and to try to explain what it feels like to have Alzheimer's Disease. My late father was never aware of his condition at all, and from my years attending a support group and listening to the stories of many other families, I understand that most patients are not aware either. In a strange way, I think you have a unique insight into this horrible disease through David's unusual awareness.
I know that this insight doesn't ease your heartache at seeing your beloved husband's decline. But you are a lady who always looks for blessings in the little things. Maybe David's ability to sometimes explain what he is feeling is also a blessing?
Thank you Dolores for your good wishes, it was a wonderful day. I came across this verse and thought of you so here it is: "Life is filled with happiness, sadness, tears, smiles, laughter and other emotions but when life gets you down, just be strong about it and keep your head up high and have faith in all things in life. Always remember: God is at your side, Always". Hugs....Lu
LOVE THE NEW BLOG DESIGN!!!
I keep you in my prayers that GOD will continue to give you good days. I had no idea the loss of reading. Is it visual or eye/mind connection? Or the lack of interest? Could a larger print help? Picture book with less words?
May GOD keep you all safe and give you peace.
I read few of your above comments. Your such a positive lady ! And it is true God is there on our side always..
Health is everything, I hope you guys are always blessed with good health.
Are You Living Right?
What is your state of Wellbeing?
http://www.3smartcubes.com/pages/tests/livingright/livingright_instructions.asp
Sending you two my good wishes for every day...wish I could help!!!
We'll take the good days whenever they come. I wish I was closeby. I love to read aloud to others and I could just read and read to David. But, that wouldn't be the same. Might be a reminder that he can't read for himself. Much love and hugs, Latane
Wishing you both a wonderful days always and Prayer is one thing I could help.
Oh how I can relate: Mom used to read a book a week when she first went into the assisted living facility. It quickly stopped...when she couldn't remember what she had read in the previous chapter...and eventually in the previous sentence. TV watching lasted a bit longer: the View, Oprah, and her beloved soaps. That's gone now, too. She sleeps 95% of the time now. sigh. Hang in there, Dolores~ The photo is just beautiful. What a beautiful man you have there!!
I don't think I have ever thought about losing my ability to read. For someone who finds reading precious this must be a terrible loss.
I am amazed David realizes he is frustrated and also realizes he has lost so many precious memories. In some ways this is even sadder, but your week sounds like a good one. You are blessed, so is David.
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