David was in a sad/mad mood yesterday morning. I had the brilliant (dumb) idea......'lets go to Olive Garden, we haven't been in a month.'
We're seated and he immediately says he freezing cold and there's too much noise. He announces with red face and anger, that he's not eating or drinking anything because this restaurant has changed.
I ask our waitress to make our order to go ... and we drove back to Seguin. At home ... he ate his meal and thanked me for doing such a good job.
Me thinking: "going out to eat may be a thing of the past."
I was feeling sad and discouraged.....I go to the mailbox and find a sweet handwritten card from a friend from church. Her words lifted my spirits and made me smile.
My best friend calls to check and see how we're doing. Through tears I'm smiling again and thanking God for friends.
(This picture was taken of our 9 grandchildren ... 5 years ago outside the condo at the beach) ....sweet memories
In the midst of my daily adjustments, God gives me these wonderful blessings and examples of love.
19 comments:
Hi sweetie, wish I was there to give you a hug. I can so relate. We haven't gone out to eat in over a year now. What little company we do have, Mr. P. says the noise bothers him. He can get up and walk out of the room to the bedroom to get away from it. Discouraged at times doesn't even describe how you can feel. You want to help and can't. My BF always ask, she goes up to visit him, thankfully at those times he's in a good mood and tracking well. The heat has truly played into all of this. Today we're suppose to hit 104+, him and the dog going for a walk is even out of the question the last few days. I try to stay busy and positive, times I fail and head to the front porch. I'm trying to revamp the shop for fall only to stay busy. Currently working on the blog isn't even a pleasure. Taking pictures of the same mundane thing don't interest many. Our life is pretty cut and dry, house bound pretty well says it all. What little I do get out, I worry constantly he may fall again and I won't be here to get him up. Ok.. enough of my whining.... I'm sending you great big hugs and smiles. I hope this finds David having a super day as well as you darling... hugs ~lynne~
{{{hugs}}}
I've been reading your blog for a while now. I started by reading your daughters and found you :)
Just a quick note to send you good thoughts and to let you know that I will keep you both in my prayers. Here's to happy moments that last and last...
Faye
(from Maine)
I'm so sorry your dinner out didn't go so well. I am glad he was happy at home with you. Hugs for you...glad you have some wonderful friends close by, as well, as all your caring blogger friends.
Oh Dolores, I'm so sorry it was a bad day. I hope it's gotten a little better. I wish I could give you a big old hug.
I hope David gets his love of Olive Garden back soon. You're in my prayers.
Sending you Giant Hugs and Tons of Love Sweet friend....
((((HUG))))
There's no rhyme or reason to the upsets either, which always makes it tough. Hopefully, this does not mean the end of your eating out. We'll pray the grumblies away and ask for more sweetness. I did like the part where David thanked you for making such a delicious meal. That's pretty cute. Wish I could send you a cooling breeze...
I am starting to notice more from my husband also--anger at things that would never bother him before. Our husbands lose neurons in the hippocampus and cannot function socially as well. But they still have love and other good emotions.
It is so funny that he loved the dinner and didn't realize it was from Olive Garden. I notice that I can serve my husband the same dinner for several nights in a row and he won't pick up on it. In some ways an Alzheimer's husband becomes easy to please with a good routine.
Hugs,
Carol
So sorry David was not in one of his good days but thank God for your many other blessings. Hopefully David does not stay in that stage for long....Christin
Dolores,
I think that God likes to remind us that we aren't alone, even when we feel like it. I think that family and friends are the constant reminder that you are loved.
The other day I had such a terrible day with my husband. He was saying such crazy things and without feeling, which really always gets to me. I felt totally depressed, and then my daughter came home from a date and started telling me such beautiful compliments. It was like someone had given me oxygen.
Thank God for the oxygen.
Karen
P.S. What a gorgeous photography of the children.
What can I say? I can't think of anything cute or uplifting right now, but offer you a hand to hold, a heart to share your pain.
@#$%! AZ!, it is relentless.
So sad, I know how much you and David used to enjoy the Olive Garden. However, you might want to try again - as you well know, the disease is so unpredictable that you might have a better experience next time.
I'm so sorry that life seems to be getting more difficult lately. I'm thinking about you, Dolores, and hoping for good things.
Love
Gilda
It's always a guessing game with Alzheimer's. What works well one minute, hour or day can be a whole different story the next minute.
I really hope that this doesn't mean the end of your being able to go out to eat.
Thank God for friends who are there for you on days like this. Love the photo of your ADORABLE grandchildren.
Oh your grandkids look absolutely lovely. And yes again i am stunned by your story and have soo much respect for you and the "job" your doing. you and your husband are on my mind and i just wish i could do something to help...
I was also soo happy and honored you read my posts! Thank you!
Leontien
The next time at the Olive Garden may be your best time. Don't give up on going out to lunch. I know it is tough. God will see you through, my Dear.
Praying for you and David......
Susannah
Hi Dolores,
I wanted to mention that the other day, I thought about how living with FTD and my husband makes the love and approval all one-sided of course. I awoke and thought, now how can a caregiver keep his/her self-esteeem?
That is what led me to rereading old journals and remembering the accomplishments that I have had personally. I am thinking about creating an illustrated book of things that I have done. Not as a couple, because that seems to push me into grief. But rather an illustrated resume, so that I can remember who I used to be and things that make me feel good.
I believe Dolores that we need to keep our minds on the good things, especially about ourselves.
Wishing you the very best day.
Karen
I wish I could come over and give you a hug and just sit with yopu. I know you must be lonely. It is so hard to be a caregiver, even when that person is one we love. I will pray that tomorrow is a GOOD day. XO, Pinky
Hugs and love coming your way. Wonderful picture. So sorry that David had a bad day. I cannot tell you how I miss going out to eat. It was one of our main things to do each week. Every Friday and maybe more we would go out to eat.Hopefully it was just one bad day . Don't give up try again. I have so many stories I could tell you but I won't because I don't want you to stop trying. I gave up a lot of things to early and I want you to keep trying as long as you can. You go Girl. You are doing such a good job.
Delores: I am amazed at the wonderful support system you have here. Have you met most of them? The internet is an amazing source of information and connectedness. I am blessed to read through the comments ...
I am sorry you and David had a short visit to OG. I wish I had something to say, some wisdom or comfort, but I just wish your journey wasn't hard. And that is not helpful to say. ::sigh::
May the Lord bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you and give you peace.
I've seen God work that way in difficult times in my life also-- sending encouragment when life looked dark. So sorry you had to go through that experience, but God showed you He loves you and cares.
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