The ups and downs of Alzheimer's often leave the husband,wife,daughter,son, friend or care taker a little off balance and needing a break.
I've recently learned that I need to get out of the house for a couple of hours or I turn into a witch.
(Sweet pictures of times past....... ).
(Our son and me.... October 1964)
I am blessed that I have found people and they've found me......People I can call on to stay with David when I need a break. I'm also blessed that David loves everyone who stay with him.
(David, our daughter and our first grandchild )
I don't warn him ahead of time that someone is coming. When they walk in, he always greets them with a big smile and a hug or hand shake. He's very content with this situation...
(David's name sake)
Before caretakers.....
when I was taking David with me to the grocery store, he often followed the wrong person. He ran over my heels with the basket, but the hardest part was when he'd tell me he needed to use the rest room, and I'd have to block the door and go in with him.......
It doesn't sound too exciting to go shopping all by yourself, but it really is!!!!.. And.......David is happier and more content in his own home.
(Our son's 3 boys)
Some changes........ Until last week, I've left David home alone for 15 or 20 minutes when I needed to run a quick errand. He usually likes to go with me for short errands, but on occasion he doesn't want to go with me. That's now a thing of the past. Last week I came home and no David. The front door was open and he was wandering around on the side of the yard. He was trying to find me. He'd forgotten .......
(3 of our daughter's children)
Today.....I had a handy man come and install a chain lock on our front door. Knowing me, I'll probably be the first to jerk the door open with the chain attached..... oh well.....I do feel this is safer for David, and I definitely WON'T leave him home alone anymore!
This precious ballerina is our granddaughter, Sarah. She has a Halloween birthday.
She's been chosen to dance in the Houston's Nutcracker again this year.
Life is good and we are blessed with good days!!
27 comments:
What a wonderful family you have. Your daughter looks so much as you do in the first photo. My mother in law would say she was going to go some where and we would have to just chat with her until she forgot that she was "going to see Mrs Niles", etc. I know that your days are not easy and stress level is high. Going to the grocery store alone reminds me of the days of going to the store without a newborn and a 4 yr old.
Gentle hugs,
Beckie in Brentwood, TN
What adorable grandchildren! You really have a wonderful family. So glad you have door protection now.
You never know....
One time my Mom found my Dad in the lobby (3 floors down from there condo) he just wandered out in the hall and the elevator was open.... I always worried, I wanted her to get some ID on him..a bracelet or a homing device (lol).
Have a great week!
Love seeing the grandchildren woven in through this post. Such a graceful ballerina there at the end. I am glad that you don't try to push a thing beyond it's time. You take wonderful care of David and protect and love him. It is a beautiful thing. (I wish that I had known about that trick of not telling him in advance. I'm pretty sure that I increased anxiety by trying to prepare my grandmother when she really would've done much better just welcoming people in as David does.)
You're probably overwhelmed at times, but you're not a witch. You're just human.
I'm sure that was scary when you came home and found him outside looking for you.
Do you mean she dances with the Houston Ballet in the Nutcracker? If so, that's quite an accomplishment.
Dolores,
love the pictures of your family! Your family is beautiful. I am so sorry to hear about these recent events. I am praying for you and David. It can be so hard to be a caregiver of someone with disease. You are not a witch! Just someone who is tired and we all can reach our breaking points. Lean on your family and friends and remember God will give you the strength you need.
Love and blessings,
Vikki
I DO understand the joy of shopping alone. I greatly look forward to shopping because I see it as a short break. :=) I'm so glad you have found some help. PTL!
Beautiful pictures Aunt D! I know that had to be awfully scary not knowing where he was...glad you got the lock. You are doing a wonderful job taking care of Uncle David...don't ever forget that!
Love you!!!!! L~
You have beautiful grandchildren(really),they look like a lot of fun too.
I hear so many stories on the news of people with Alzheimers wandering away from home, good thing David had not gone far and also that you have a chain on the door.
Since I have been blogging with you I have noticed those changes for you and David. I am so glad that you can get out of the house, and noted that chain link for when I will need it for my husband. I guess even if someone is with him, he could leave.
Enjoyed the Halloween pictures of your lovely family.
Hugs and prayers,
Carol
Oh, do I see you walking in my footsteps, Dolores, and that makes me very sad, dear friend. The burden is heavy at times, I know that, but you tackle each task with love and grace.
I do have a suggestion or two for you, if you don't mind. The chain did not work for us... Elbert just reached up and slid the thing open.
I was going to give the suggestions here but the comment was getting lengthy so I decided I'd make a post on my blog about it. Sorry about that. But, I am WORDY sometimes. hehe.
I think of you two often and even talk to my children about you like we are neighbors or life long buddies but you know, we are neighbors in the world of Alzheimers and I do feel like I have known you forever.
Love and Many Hugs,
Latane
At my mom's care facility, for some residents they used some type of a pad on their bed, so that when they got up in the night an alarm would sound. Don't know if that is practical for you or not, but I know how unnerving it is to have a wanderer. Take care!
Nancy
Oh my, I guess what happened is inevitable with this horrible disease. I had that problem when Mother lived with us and installed a little alarm thing that went off on the one door that wasn't secured with a top bolt. It did work. Of course, I had to be home to hear it. When I placed her in assisted living during my 2004 hip replacement she was actually quite happy ... until she walked out in the middle of the night 'trying to go home.' From that point, it was secured buildings for my precious little mommy. I'm going to have to scan a few of my photos from the 60s .. yours are terrific.
I am glad to hear you are having a few good days. I can not fathom all you go through, I just pray that God blesses you with patience and humor! The love is there. David is SO fortunate to have you. Loved all the pictures. Have a good week. Love, Pinky
Oh Lord, Delores!! Your Granddaughter is Beautiful! Congratulations to her!!
I know that must have scared you Both! I've yanked a few chains myself... ;0)
hughugs
Your grandchildren are so precious. I love the one with the boys on the hay...great shot.
You are very wise to take some time for yourself. You need and deserve a break.
Have a great day!
Great photos you have shared. I am especially drawn to the first one ... something about it is so sweet. I think I've already said this, but I am amazed at how much your daughter resembles you. You are both beautiful ladies and I can tell by looking that you are not capable of being witchy. :).
Everybody needs to get out alone from time to time, especially when you have the full time job of caretaking. I'm glad to hear that you are able to do this now.
Hi Dolores - you know what the first thing I noticed was? How those little grandsons' eyes all looked like YOURS!
So sorry to hear that David can't stay alone anymore. I hate when they start wandering. MIL was doing that, too. It IS good that you have people that can come and stay with him and let you get out of the house sometimes.
And you are NOT witchy - that's a full-time 24/7 job to be a caregiver and you wouldn't be human if you didn't get grumpy and feel like you're on your last nerve. I don't care how much you love them. It's a tough thing that you're going through. One thing, tho - fortunately, and unfortunately, David won't remember the grumpiness you feel. That's a good thing. So please don't feel bad about that. You do the best you can and get out when you can, and always rely on the Lord. I know that you do. Take care of YOU, too.
Dolores, that is good that you are getting out of the house. I also like to go shopping or have lunch with a friend and my son stays here with my husband. We do need to get out once in awhile. My best friend is showing signs of memory loss, she is a diabetic also. My husband now cannot walk at all, he is a handful. But our Lord Jesus is watching over all of us and he is good and blesses us daily. Hugs...Lu
I love all of your photographs from Halloween memories. I especially love the one of your Grandduaghter, Sarah. She must be thrilled to have been chosen again to be part of this ballet company.
It's good to get a break. I find that when I don't get away enough I start to forget that my husband is speaking Dementia, and I start to try to reason with him. Otherwise I can keep the dementia in perspective.
A lock on the door is a good thing, I have heard this from friends.
Wishing you a lovely day.
Karen
Oh, Dolores....you bring back many memories. I pray the chain lock works for you. I am so grateful you can get a caretaker to stay with David while you shop....and yes, it is better alone!
You are beautiful, and your daughter looks just like you. And oh my....your ballerina granddaughter is just precious!! Blessings~xoxoxox
Dolores, have you read anything about using coconut oil for those with Alzheimer's? If not, I hope you'll google it and the name Mary Newport. I came across your blog when I was looking at blogs related to Alzheimer's. My husband and I both have a family history of it, so when we heard about the coconut oil, we got started on it.
Anonymous,
Yes, Dolores and I have discussed coconut oil and I am going to review Dr. Newport's new book on the subject on my blog. We don't know that coconut oil is a cure, and doctors are skeptical, but improvements that make AD easlier to cope with do happen with coconut oil. I have seen that first hand with my husband.
Cordially,
Carol
You have a lovely family, Dolores and you looks so pretty. Your grandchildren are adorable. I can imagine how nervous you were when you came back to see the door open. We were in Houston one time and I went shopping with my mom at Marshall's and I left her sitting where they had a chair in the home goods section. When I went back to check on her, she was gone and I could not find her all over the store. I was so nervous and I went out to the mall and saw her coming with someone guiding her. Of course she was looking for me. She asked people where her companion is, lol....Christine
Dear D~
Whenever I'm feeling sorry for myself over the hours and hours of my hubby being away from me all I need to do is visit your bloggie and I'm snapped right back into gratefulness.
I believe God uses others and what they are experiencing to help guide us through life. You are doing that. You are helping keep me centered and focused.
Just wanted to say thank you and to tell you all you are going though is NOT in vain.
Love to you~
Rebecca
Well my dear, I'm still amazed, (not really) of how beautiful you were aaand are...such a gorgeous pic of you and son. You have a beautiful family sweetie, such beautiful grandchildren, daughter and adorable prima ballerina! My goodness, you're a strong gal,, I think I would've died if I didn't found David right away, so I'm glad you can leave David home with a caretaker. God bless you my sweet and pretty lady, keep posting your old pics I love looking at them! Have a nice weekend. FABBY
Often times one feels dreadful to leave to have a break and maybe thinking they cant escape from what they are going through so why should you. But they do not remember so its good you are getting out and try to do it as often as you can.
You have a lovely family and lots of good memories you created for them. Congratulation on Sarah dancing in the Nutcracker again and Happy Birthday next week!
I keep you in my prayers.
Lovely little ballerina... thinking of you, Delores.
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