I'm in awe of the loving comments I've received concerning my difficult decision. I thank each and everyone of you for your words of wisdom, advice, support, love and prayers ....I'm overwhelmed.... I love you!!!
God is good, I found a home that feels like a home!!! AlzCare alzcare.net is 20 miles from here (I wish it were closer), but it feels right. I took a tour of the home several months ago. There's two separate homes. One for early Alzheimer's and the other mid to late. They only take Alzheimer patients, which is licensed to take 16 patients in each home.
They do respite care if they have room. I took him Thursday for 6 1/2 hours. I was apprehensive how he would act/react. So... I didn't tell him where we were going and he didn't ask until I ask him to get out of the car.
I explained to him that I needed to do some shopping, and I needed a safe place for him, and he was fine........
Everyone working there greeted him and made him feel as comfortable as he could feel under these circumstances. A group of musicians came to entertain the patients during the day. They took a video on a phone of David standing up clapping his hands to the music. They said he even danced a little.........sigh.
He didn't say a word on the way home, but that night when I ask him about the music, he said it was great. I told him they're wanting him to come back and entertain them again next week, and he said okay. I'm planning on taking him once a week until the final decision.
Without a doubt this will be hardest decision I'll ever have to make..... I don't know when I'll make my final decision, but... I'm doing a lot of thinking, praying and taking one step, one day at a time.
Thanks again for being there for me .... I love you!!!
33 comments:
You are a great lady, Delores. Your blogger family will 'be there' with you. God Bless you and David!
Dolores, I just replied to your previous post, and then saw this one. I am so happy to hear that you have already found a good place. It sounds wonderful!
Good luck, my friend, and be 100% assured that you are making the right decision for both of you.
Love
Gilda
I'm glad his first visit went well and you found a place you feel good about. It's a difficult decision, but sadly inevitable with Alzheimer's.
What did you do for 6 1/2 hours? I hope you were able to relax and enjoy yourself a little.
You are a very loving,caring wife. We understand how hard all this has been for you. It sounds like this home is just the right one for your husband. It is nice that you get to take him to visit to make the transition easier. Hoping you will be able to have one more precious holiday with your husband home.
Oh dear Dolores, the place sounds wonderful and David looked like he enjoyed his visit there, I think the music got him. I'm sure they know excatly how to treat a patient with Alzheimer since they speciallize in the field. You will know when the day will come to leave him there and you're so wise to take it one step at a time...hey, don't we start life one step at atime?! I love you and I'm so happy for both of you about this place you found!
Lots of hugs and may God bless you and iluminate you about the decision you must take. Love, FABBY
He's so lucky to have you... ♥
Oh! How lucky you are to have one so close - I know 20 miles seems far to you, but it could be hours! What a blessing!
I hope David enjoyed it - it sounded like he did. Maybe the more he goes, the more he'll get used to it. Would this be the place you would make his home later?
I am watching you and admiring you - I'd have never thought to do that first. You are so smart!
We're all behind you whatever and whenever you have to make that decision.
love, your sister from another family,
barbara
Dolores, I'm so glad the first day of David being left went well.
Just to know he is safe there, and you were able to have some time for your self,is wonderful. Hopfully he will get to like it more and more, and it will be easier for you to leave him.
it sounds like a really lovely place.
Julia ♥
looks like things are working out for both of you...so happy to hear it...
20 miles is not so far away , especially if it is a good place for him and for you. What a difficult time for you. David won't know how hard this is for you though, but God does.Your family does. Those of us reading have an inkling of how hard this is, some reading have been through this. I will pray for you both Dolores.
I like the picture in my mind of David clapping to the music.
This is the toughest thing you will ever do and I pray that it goes smoothly. The home sounds really good and it appears David will enjoy it. Glad the first try went well. Knowing that he has their undivided attention is a big relief for you. Glad they had music for him. Love you too!
I wish there was someting I could from here to help lift your spirits and the difficult decision you have facing you. I know I can pray and that is what I am doing. The lord will have to take it from there. Its good He directed you to this place, it does sound like a caring home filled with music too, just what David likes.
Keep close to the lord and may he keep you all safe.
Love, love, love and peace, peace, peace to you. May you feel the love of God around you every step of the way. David's got the Lord with him every step of the way, too. We are asked to step up in incredible ways in our lives, aren't we? May you feel comfort at every turn.
I will be praying for you as you make the decisions the Father leads you in...His way always is perfect and brings peace. I know He is blessed in your response and care for dear husband. All is well, all shall be well and all manner of things shall be well. I hope you enjoye your shopping day, life is good!
Shirley in Virginia
And I love you too, Dolores. I am so happy and thankful that you found a place that feels like home. It sounds like a wonderful first step in this most difficult decision that you are facing.
My thoughts and prayers remain with you.
Dolores, nothing is easy when it comes to the changes taking place in the journey you and David are on is it. I can only imagine how you are feeling and wondering how many of us will find ourselves in your place in the years to come, or our family members will be taking care of us. God bless you during this critical time and help you make the right decisions for David and for you. You are so faithful and careful for David.
Hugs, Debbie
Today I prayed God would wrap His loving, merciful arms around you for me. I feel your heartache my friend but KNOW that JOY has been promised to come in the morning.
I'm left with knowing you hubby of many, many years would be sooo proud of you.
Love, Rebecca
I am thinking of you and love you! L~
This just seems to be a good direction. Does David remember from day to day? Can you take pictures of him there so he remembers?
Will pray with you about the final decision and the loneliness you might feel when he is not at home.
Hugs,
Carol
Oh I am so happy for you, Dolores. I am so glad you found a good home and that they entertain with music. I know how much David loves his music. It's a beginning and I know eventually, you will feel comfortable with the idea, especially seeing how happy he will be and seeing the good care....Christine
My heart is breaking for you as you make a very difficult decision. You are a very strong person and I am certain God will guide you in your decision at the exact time He has planned. Each detail of our lives has been ordained by Him and He has all things under control.
God bless you and David with the blessings you need the most in the coming year...............Joyce
The right place will give you peace to take him there. Easing into it sounds like a fabulous idea.
Oh Delores, what a wonderful wife and caregiver you are. David is SO blessed to have you. I am so glad you found a place that FEELS RIGHT, that is so important. I always try to "go with my gut". I will pray that when the time comes you will be given the strength to do that. BIG hugs to you and David, Pinky
Dolores,
What a brilliant idea to take him gradually. Not only will he adjust easily into the transition, but that music will be perfect for him. This decision certainly must be the hardest thing to do. But, knowing that you will be keeping him safe, and you too has to help. One day at a time, is all that you can do right now.
I love the idea of David getting to enjoy that music. Now that had to be a God wink for sure.
I am glad that you are taking it slowly for you too. Thank you for your good wishes, and know that you are in my thoughts and prayers every day.
Karen
When I scrolled down and saw the words 'I found a home' my heart just skipped a beat. I know what you are feeling, how very difficult this is for you but you must believe that this is all for the best and it does sound like a wonderful place. My love and prayers are with you always.
Love you TOO Babydoll...You're so brave and strong...And how wonderful that they played music!! Just the ticket for David!
You'll know when the time is right Sweetie! In the meantime, we are all here for you!!!
(((((HUG)))))
The fact that he was fine during his first visit is huge. A most definite positive step forward.
Continue to be strong
Jeannette
There are no words to say what I feel. I always have loved and admired you both. Both of you are my heroes. When you take away David's brain, he still is a marvelous person. And when you give a spunky girl a really hard problem, she will show the rest of us how it is done!
I'm so proud of you mom! I know you are doing the right thing because you are doing exactly what dad wanted you to do. I am glad things went better than you expected. Love you always!
Dolores,
praying for you! I can only imagine what you are feeling but I know that God will guide you and direct you during this very difficult time.
Love and blessings,
Vikki
Wonderful Dolores that you've found such a good place. Hard to feel you're doing the right thing when it doesn't feel right - but I'm sure it is! I wish you courage when you need it - good to see you have so much needed support!
Dolores, this sounds wonderful! Easing into this place is a good thing. He'll be used to it already. It's a good feeling when you find that special place where you know he'll be safe and you won't have to worry about him. And you will have some time for you, and you won't have to feel afraid anymore and be waiting with bated breath for his next move. God is good.
Continued love and prayers to you and David, Dolores. You're making a difficult decision that will be best for David....and for you. I know exactly how you feel. I made the decision for my mom 6 years ago. I know, now, that had I waited longer, it would have only been worse for her.
My love......
Carol xoxoxoxo
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