Thank you so much for your words of encouragement, thoughts and most of all for the prayers. I wish I could thank each of you individually and give you a big hug! The prayers sustained me through this heartbreaking day.
(loving hands giving David a shave and trim)
Our children offered to go with us yesterday when I took David to AlzCare, but I was afraid David would be suspicious if everyone was here. My best friend came over and he didn't think anything about her going with us.
When we arrived they offered David a cup of coffee and he sat in a rocking chair unaware that he would be staying.
It took an hour to fill out the paperwork and go over all the questions and answers. While I was doing this my friend and one of the aides marked all his belongings and fixed his bed and put away his clothes. I'm so thankful she did this for me! It would have been upsetting for me to put his clothes in the drawers and make his bed ............
I've spoken with the nurse today and he had a good day yesterday, but a very, very difficult evening and night. His doctor will be prescribing a medication to calm him at night. I pray this will make it a little easier for him.
(our last picture together in our home)
Everywhere I look ..... I see David. Today I've constantly been thinking I should be doing something for him.
They said I could go visit him anytime I wanted, but it would be best if I waited until the weekend. This will be a very long and sad week. I'll go see him on Saturday.
I pray he will adjust quickly and easily..... and I pray I will stop crying.
Thank you again for your prayers and encouragement!!!!!
50 comments:
Thinking of you and praying for your comfort. This post is so touching that now there's a pair of us crying. You couldn't know when you started your journey with David that this would be a part of it. I can assure you with every fiber of my being that it doesn't end like this. There'll be bright days and moments ahead and we already know that, as Believers, we live happily ever after. Much love and God's peace to you...
And I am crying with you too...
I will continue to keep both you and David in my thoughts and prayers ♥
I feel so sad but I also know that David is so fortunate to have you do the best for him. YOU must feel very lost and I hope that you fill your days with enjoyable events with friends and family. I pray that all goes well for David and you. That is a beautiful picture to treasure. Hugs, Deb
I am so sorry you are hurting so much...my prayers be with you.
Dolores, I am hurting for you and have been for days. I went through this with my father and I know somewhat how you feel. I have been having flashbacks from forty years ago. Remember, we're just next door.
Sometimes a wonderful blessing still can not ever match what we have lost or what we have already been given. But you and I and others will move forward anyway, and learn to live again. God will help us, and we will help each other. Love you.
What a hard, hard time for you. What else could you have done to keep him home longer and yourself able to cope?
Nothing.
From what I have read on your blog over time, you have done the best you possibly could. Visits will be so difficult for you but I've found with my mother that short and sweet does it. An hour is great for us.
You both have your guardian angel so please call on them for any help you may need. I'd better go so that I can wipe my tears away.
with love...
I'm so sorry. I wanted to ask if you can take your dog to visit. Where we placed my mom, the first thing they asked if she had any pets and if so, please bring them. I'm sure your dog will miss him and it will be so good for David. I was wondering if you would like to email me. I may have some advise on meds you may or my not want David on.
My heart is breaking for you and know how hard this is when you love someone going thru this.
Please email me if you can.
takaknapp@aol.com
Thank you and God Bless
Tracy
Oh, my heart, Delores. The way my heart hurts for you and David is significant; I simply cannot imagine how you must feel.
I wish I could hug you, sit with you, tell you everything will be alright. I wish you didn't have to wait a week. I wish you didn't have to do this at all, any of it. ::tears in eyes::
Praying the comfort of God, friends and family would be yours, as you walk these next steps of your journey. God be near. God IS near.
I am continuing to keep you in my prayers, thoughts and heart. I remember the day that my mother in law was moved to the alzheimer's facility. It was harder on my father in law than on her. I pray that this transition with get easier as the weeks go by for you as well as David. It didn't take long for my MIL to feel safe and at home in her room. If she was at a family member's home, she would announce that she was ready to go home...to her room is what she meant.
Beckie
My heart is breaking....just absolutely breaking. I know it will get better....just wish I could wave a magic wand and all the pain would go away. I love you so very much Aunt Dolores.
Oh Dolores, my heart is breaking reading this. I wish I could be the one there to give you a hug. I know everything will be ok because you have so many praying for you including me....Christine
Everywhere you see David, you write, as you are in the throes of grief and loneliness and bewilderment at how life seems to have turned out. In heaven here will be no more sorrow, or death or parting. Praying for your and David's adjustments. Time will fly for this week for David perhaps. Can he talk with you on the phone until you see him again? Hope it is not icy when you drive to see him.
Hugs and prayers,
Carol
Oh Dolores, through my tear filled eyes my heart is breaking for you. I am brought right back to the first week of my mom moving to assisted living. I wouldn't want to go through that again for anything, but I will say that it did get easier as a "new normal" was established.
I can't even begin to tell you how much I detest this disease and pray for a cure daily.
Please know that I keep you in my prayers, Dolores.
Hugs,
XOXO,
Kim
Praying for you both. He will adjust and those were wise words and sound advice given to you about waiting till the week end to go and see him. Having gone through this with my daughter's mother in law, it i,s the best thing for him and you. He will adjust, believe me, he will. God is right there with you, holding you. He is the lifter of your head and a shield about you. Psalm 3:3
Delores,
I thought about you all weekend. I have no advice but to say what previous posters said. David will adjust probably easier then you. Cry and cry somemore because it will relive some of your stress.
Andrea
Oh Dolores, I am crying for and with you! I know what you mean because I took care of my Mom, here in our house for 5 years before she died and after I still was making lists in my head while in the shower in the morning of whjat I needed to do for her that day. It is VERY hard to get your mind reprogrammed after being a care giver! Take it slow, time does help....a little. I pray that David adjusts quickly and easily. You know he is in good hands, just not as good as yours! Remember he is in God's hands too! XO, Pinky
It will be hard for David for a while. Your first visit with him could be really hard (especially when you have to leave) He might have anger and questions on why he can't go home with you. Be ready with some answers. It is a good and right decision, but it doesnt make it any easier. Dont forget to take care of YOU.
You are doing what is best for both of you. Stay strong and know that David is in good hands. God bless you both.
Reading what you're going through brought tears to my eyes. I'm so sorry you're having to deal with something so difficult. It sounds like he will be in capable and caring hands so just try to take care of you during this rough time.
sending big hugs your way....soon you will get into your own routine...and life will be more normal...he is in a safe place...your doing a good job...
I hold you in my heart.
My prayers continue for you my friend. I hope you are able to feel prayers for comfort and peace. I feel confident that David is in good hands and that he and you will be able.
Praying the weekend will come quickly for you to go and visit. Take care my friend and know you are surrounded in prayer.
Heather
I am crying and praying with you. GOD keep you strong and I pray he will make this transition smooth for David and your family. I pray you see David with a big smile on his face all happy and listening to his music like he does not have a care in the world.
Please know your heavenly father is with you in spirit and I am too.
So sad for you Dolores. Crying is good sometimes too. Hope this is just a phase for you and there a many happy times to come.
Thinking of you - be gentle with yourself too.
paula
Hi Dolores. I'm so sad with you and my heart breaks with yours. This was the hardest decision you'll ever have to make I know. This was so hard on you, but it'll be for the best. This is a very tough journey to be on and I'm sorry you're having to make it. I felt like it would be soon. I'm glad your friend was there with you. Big adjustment for you and for David, too, but after a bit, he'll settle in, and you'll get used to it, too. I'm keeping you in prayer, friend, and David as well. Sending big hugs your way.
Continuing to pray for you. May you feel His arms close around you during this week of initial adjustment.
Sorry I missed your last post. There is a silver lining to this major event... David had a say in it, and it wasn't yours alone. Not everyone realises what is happening to them, so decisions like this often fall on the partner. I don't know who wrote it, but I saw a plaque with the following quote and it sounds so true...I bought it for my mother.... 'What the head forgets, the heart always remembers' Sorry I don't know who to give credit to for the quote. Jenny
How wonderful to have the prayers of so many behind you Dolores. Count mine also, as I ask God to give you the comfort and strength to get through this difficult time. He will not desert you.
Hugs, Debbie
Dolores:
Praying so hard for you and David. Praying you both have a smooth transition. It is okay to cry. This is such a hard moment. When we placed my grandmother in a similar home this time last year, she too had difficult evenings. For her it lasted several weeks but then gradually it became easier. She too was given medication in the evening to help but no longer needs to take it. I pray it will be the same way for David.
Big hugs,
Karla
Oh sweet Dolores, I am crying with you, as I feel it must be so difficult imagining you alone in the house without your dear David, in a way you still have him to visit and see him even if his real essence as you knew him before Alzheimer is gone. When my dad died in 96 from a massive heart attack, my mother couldn't imagine he wouldn't walk in the door, or I couldn't call him on the phone again, so yes, hard but just think of the day you'll see him again. One day at a time for him and for you my friend. I am going to pray for you now, so our God can give you strength to endure this new transition with David's illness, which one day it all settle down like the ocean's tide. Beautiful pic of the two of you and the pet cuties. Wish I could visit you in person. Love you.
FABBY
FABBY
"Oh precious Lord.. giver of life and God of all comfort.. who on this earth can know the heartbreak of this dear sister but You... so I come boldly to your throne of grace in this time of needing asking for your strength and your help or Dolores. Please, dear God, be her comfort today and in the days ahead... please dear God.. be her husband, her confidant and her dearest friend. Give her your courage. In Jesus Name we ask these things. Amen."
Praying for you Delores.
Oh Sweetheart...Sending prayer and love to you All!
I'm so glad your friend went with y'all. What a Hard thing for you to have to do....bless your heart!
Loving you!!!!
(((HUG)))
GOD is there holding both of you in HIS loving arms.
You are on my mind all the time... I know the steps you take are very painful ones. I know a house can be so silent without David. I know that it's difficult to go forward however, God is there for you and will see you through.
Love and Hugs,
Latane
What a touching blog. I wish you, David and your family well.
I haven't been online much over the holidays and I'm in the process of playing catch up this week and just read this now. I hope by the time you arrive this weekend he'll be content and you'll be pleased with his adjustment. You're in my thoughts and prayers. Hang in there!
Oh Dearheart, my tears run freely for you and for your love for David. Oh my what an act of love. I shall continue to pray that God sustains you and sends you special hugs. Thank goodness for dear friends. Take care of you Dearheart.
I feel that all of us here in blogland are friends and family. We all feel for you like a sister. My prayers will continue to be with you and David. When my mother was in the home, another daughter brought the dog to visit and didn't put him on a leash and he ran away, he was scared. Don't know if you are allowed to have yours visit David but if you do be careful. Prayers and hugs...Lu
I am very sorry...I know this must be so hard...
You've been on my mind and in my prayers...
I've been thinking about you all week. Praying that your first visit will be a good one!
Hugs and prayers,
Jeannette
Dolores,
I just got up to make a cup of tea and check to see if you had written an update. The crying is good, it is the healing that you need to cross over to the other side of grief. Your days have been filled with the routine of taking care of David, and I know that roller coaster emotion that can take hold. I continue to pray for you and David. This transition is surely the most difficult of all. Sometimes it's the letting go that is the hardest thing of all. God bless you, and may He cradle you in His arms.
Karen
I've thought of you so much Miss D and prayed for you as God brought you to my mind. I pray that your wonderful memories will sustain you as you continue to press on through these changing days.
Remember God has promised to never leave or forsake you.
Love you friend~
Rebecca
God Bless you and your husband....I can't imagine how difficult this must be--I am almost to that point with my mom, which I know is not the same as a husband. I will pray for this transition for you both.
Fondly, Jill
Dolores, You are an amazing example of love. I have followed your blog for the last two years and I have marveled at your incredible example of faithfulness and devotion in the face of the adversity of Alzheimers. You inspired me to try to find something in every day to be thankful for. Thank you for that. God bless David and the dear people who will be attending to him. And God bless you as you move into this new season of life. I pray God speaks comfort and peace to your heart.
Dolores, how are you doing since the Move? Hadn't heard from you in a few days, so I was thinking about you... Hope David is settling in, and I hope YOU are, too. Keeping you in prayer, friend.
xoxoxoxoxoxox My heart aches for you.
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